Lang Zi Says Returns!
by xx-animeXalchemist-xx
Summary: The sequel to Lang Zi Says is here! The randomness and hilarity are back as our favourite characters battle it out to become the Lang Zi Says champion! Contains absolutely everything: action, comedy, romance, drama, etc... enjoy!
1. And So It Begins

**Well helloooooooooooo everyone~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! If you are here then get ready for your mind to be blown by extreme randomness and epicness, because you are about to read what happened at the second annual Lang Zi Says Tournament! This is a sequel to Lang Zi Says, so there will most likely be references to that. I suggest that you check it out before you read this one, then you'll know exactly what's going on and what to expect~! Alright, let's get this sequel rolling~! ^_^  
>Disclaimer: Nein, Ace Attorney isn't mine but just you wait ^_~<br>WARNING: Even as the author I have no idea how out of hand this may get XD Just brace yourself for everything to be in here. And I seriously mean EVERYTHING! **

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Lang Zi Says Returns!

Chapter One- And So It Begins...

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 12.25am-<br>-Place: High Prosecutor's Office-

Miles Edgeworth was enjoying a wonderful cup of tea at the time. He was sat on the sofa he had in his office and had thought to himself,_ what a pleasant day. So peaceful..._

He then abruptly stopped, and warning bells suddenly started sounding within his head.

_Why does this feel like deja-vu? _

It was then that Miles Edgeworth realised that something was not right. There was something, though he wasn't sure what, that he had forgotten. And he was 99% sure that if he didn't remember exactly _what _he had forgotten, then it would all end in tears. Desperately trying to remember just why he felt like the end of the world was approaching, he neatly placed his (overly expensive) cup of tea down on the small table in front of him and got up from the sofa, beginning to pace up and down.

_Well it's nothing work related because I've just finished working on a case... and Grossberg's birthday is next month so that's not it..._

Suddenly, the door opened and the prosecutor's line of thought was interrupted. Miles turned around to see who had rudely barged into his office without deigning to knock, presuming that he would see Kay standing there.

It wasn't Kay, and when Miles saw who it really was he smiled.

In the doorway stood a wolf, with a big grin on his face. He looked as cool as ever in his usual get up: black jeans with a silver dragon embodied onto them, a simple black blouse and then a jacket with a gold dragon embodied on. Lang was donning his usual badass haircut, and his intense, honey coloured eyes were gazing at Miles.

"Mornin," smiled the wolf, still looking at Miles.  
>"Good morning," replied the silver haired one, his smile getting even bigger.<p>

Suddenly his smile disappeared as he suddenly thought: _Wait... it isn't our anniversary is it? _Shocked that he could possibly forget such a thing, Miles rapidly began to think of the day when they started to officially go out with one another.

Shi-Long entered from the doorway and let out a low chuckle as he saw his boyfriend's confused face. _He clearly doesn't remember what day it is... well I guess I can't blame him. It did get rather traumatic last year. _He chuckled again, and looked to see if Miles would eventually remember what event was today.

Coming to the conclusion that he would never forget such an important date as their anniversary, the prosecutor let out a sigh of relief and looked at the agent in front of him. Being the ever observant man that he was, Miles detected a glint in Lang's eye. He became suspicious.

The wolf began to laugh, "Why are you looking at me as if I'm the bad guy?"  
>"Because something is going on... I just can't remember what."<br>"Well then I can't wait to see your reaction when you finally remember," said Lang in a low voice and he gently leaned in to kiss his boyfriend.  
>Once the kiss had ended, Lang looked at Miles and simply said, "Follow me."<p>

Although the prosecutor's sense of judgement told him that he really shouldn't follow the agent, he followed him anyway. He was curious to see what would become of this.  
>Shi-Long felt bad about what he was about to do and he knew that it would probably upset the silver haired one, but he had no choice in the matter. Sooner or later they would reach their destination.<p>

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-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.00pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

Miles took in the surroundings and realisation began to wash over him.

_Wait a second... this isn't... it couldn't possibly be..._

A look of horror fixed itself to the prosecutor's face and he immediately started to run in the opposite direction. Lang pre-empted something like this and so effectively managed to block the way in which Miles was attempting to escape. It was too late.

"L-Lang... Why?" Miles looked up at Lang accusingly, hurt evident in his voice. Guilt attacked Lang. Before he could give his explanation however:

"KYAAAAAAA~~~! And last year's champion has finally arrived~! What took you so long Wolfie? You weren't doing anything that you shouldn't have been doing were you?" Kay winked as she said that last bit. Miles knew exactly what she was hinting at.

"Don't be ridiculous Kay! Like I would ever-"

"-follow me right this way!" The thief completely ignored whatever protest the prosecutor was about to give.

"I refuse to partake in this!" Miles was resolute.  
>Kay simply smiled, "But I thought a gentlemen never went back on his word?"<br>"Nngh!" The silver haired one finally remembered everything then: the compromising situations, wearing a frilly dress, having to retrieve his cravat by... well he remembered it all. He thought that he had suppressed those memories, but they were back once again. He also remembered that he was obligated to compete this year, and compete to the best of his abilities.

Knowing that she had won, the young Yatagarasu guided Miles and Lang into the field where no rules or laws applied.  
>"Don't be so grumpy Mr. Edgeworth~!" Smiled Kay. "After all, if it wasn't for last year then you and Wolfie wouldn't be together now~!"<br>Lang and Edgeworth looked at each other and smiled.  
><em>I guess she does have a point, <em>Miles conceded.

The prosecutor could see a group of people in the distance, and he wondered who was mad enough to actually return this year.  
>"Kay... do I even want to know how you forced everyone here this time?"<br>"Is it so hard to believe that they returned of their own free will?"  
>"Yes," said the silver haired man bluntly.<br>Kay just let out a small, yet evil, laugh. "The Yatagarasu has her ways..."

Once they had reached the group, Miles saw that many past contestants were here, ready to compete and ready to win. In the group was:

Franziska von Karma  
>Maggey Byrde<br>Ema Skye  
>Lana Skye<br>Dick Gumshoe

_Not as many people as last time... I guess she couldn't force everyone into it this time._

Miles was pulled out of his thoughts when a loud

-BANG-

sounded.

He looked up to see what the cause was and... of course.

"Kay, for goodness sake you're seriously doing this again? You got taken to court last time!"

Kay merely stood atop the stage that had miraculously appeared from nowhere.  
>"I have no idea what you're referring to," Kay said, feigning innocence.<br>"You know exactly what I'm talking about! The rock band known as The Gavinners sued you for blackmail and then stealing their stage! And you've just done it again!"  
>Kay huffed. "I can't believe you prosecuted against me!"<br>"Well there was no way I could have defended you, you were clearly guilty! So what did you do this time? Don't tell me you stole Klavier's motorbike again..."  
>"Of course not!" The young thief paused... "It was his electric guitar," she mumbled quietly.<p>

Before Miles could say anything to that, Gumshoe asked, "Did you ask Troupe Gramarye for help with the magic again?"  
>"No..." Kay said uneasily.<br>"They took out a restraining order against her," explained Miles.  
>"Well if merely <em>borrowing <em>something from someone and refusing to give it back until they fulfill once _teeny tiny _favor is a crime-"  
>"-Which it is." Interrupted the prosecutor.<br>"Honestly!" The raven haired girl let out an over dramatic sigh, "What has this country come to?"  
>"So may I ask how you made this appear without the aide of the Troupe's magic?" Lana enquired.<br>"It was thanks to your sister actually," explained the young thief. "Last year she ran into Max Galactica, remember? He seemed determined to outdo all the tricks that the Gramarye's pulled last year and so kindly leant us a few tricks." Kay smiled, then that smile turned more into an evil grin. _I'm pretty sure there's nothing against the law in merely borrowing a person and refusing to give them back until they complete one teeny tiny favor. _The thief thought about the bubbly blonde who wore a pink leotard that she had hidden away. It was amazing how enthusiastic Max had become about helping out with the magic when he realised what had happened.  
>Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"<p>

Franziska was becoming impatient at about this time.  
>"Fools! Would you stop conversing about foolishly foolish things and get on with the competition?"<br>Kay agreed, and she morphed into cheesy host mode. Hopping up onto the stage and grabbing a microphone, she began to announce the reason that they were all here that day.

"Alright~~! Hello there everyone! Welcome to the second ever annual Lang Zi Says Tournament!" As soon as she had mentioned the name of the tournament the Lang Zi Says Theme tune began to blast out through the loudspeakers. For those of you who don't know what this theme tune is, it consists of Kay's voice on a rock tune singing, "L-l-l-l Lang Zi! L-l-l-l Lang Zi! This is the Lang Zi Says tournament! Lalalalalalala~ LANG ZI!"

_I see that the theme song is just as God awful as before, _Miles thought bitterly. He really didn't want to be here.

"Okay, so I shall explain the rules for those of you who don't know how this works~! The aim of the game is to-"

"-OBJECTION! STOP BEING FOOLISH! We all know how to play as all of us were competing last year! So quit foolishly stalling!"

Kay looked shocked. "What are you on about? We have three new contestants this year!"

Everyone looked around. Ema was the one to comment this time.  
>"Using the scientific method of addition and subtraction... we seem to have actually lost four contestants from last year. Scientifically speaking that is."<br>Kay puffed out her chest in an attempt to look dignified. "Well that's because you haven't met the new contestants yet! I'm going to give them a proper introduction~! Okay, so without further ado, let's welcome our new contestants!"

Kay was twirling around the stage, completely full of energy. She pressed a random button and a small section of the stage floor began to open up. A platform was beginning to rise up and it was obvious that a new contestant would be on there. Kay began to give some background.

"Our first new contestant made an appearance here last year! He's a real hit with the ladies and is always good for a laugh. Will everyone please welcome: Larry Butz~!"  
>Larry was now on the stage with that cheesy grin of his.<br>"Hey everyone~!"  
>"Since when has Larry ever been 'a hit with the ladies'?" Asked Edgeworth skeptically.<br>"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO MEAN TO ME EDGEY?" The Butz started to throw a childish tantrum.  
>The sound of a whip cracking against the ground was heard. It was Franziska, and she was looking at Larry with one of the most terrifying looks that you can possibly imagine.<br>"_This _fool will be competing? I refuse to allow it! I will take him out early!" And as she said this she readied her whip to assault the now terrified man.

"WOAH! Okay people, let's all get along!" Urged Kay.  
>"This foolish man made a mockery of me last year, and he was only here for two minutes! I shall have my revenge!"<br>Everyone paused to remember what the prosecuting prodigy was going on about.  
>They suddenly all remembered. Larry had published some embarrassing children's book about her without her consent. Well, there was that and the fact that he had convinced Kay that they were an item. Long story short: Franziska ended up needlessly confessing who she was going out with.<p>

Once Lana had managed to get Franziska into some semi-calm state, Kay deemed it safe enough for Larry to join the others.  
><em>If Franziska is aiming for him then I doubt he'll hold out very long... <em>observed Miles.

Another button was pressed and once again a pedestal began to rise up with the next contestant on it.

"Our next competitor looks all set to be a real contender for the win!"  
>This piqued the interest of everyone here. They were pretty sure that Larry wouldn't present that much of a problem, but they might just have to watch their backs when it came to this person, according to the young thief turned host for a day.<p>

"He is a fan of all the finer and more mature things in life, and enjoys nothing more than a cup of well blended coffee. I wouldn't get on this guy's bad side if I were you, will everyone please welcome: Godot~!"

The only contestants who knew about Godot were Lana, Franziska and Miles as they were all prosecutors along with him.  
>The man before them stood on the stage, the very personification of cool.<br>_Wow... he looks like he'll provide a real challenge! _Lang started to get all excited, he loved last year's competition as it pushed him to his limits. He was looking forward to more challenges this year, and this strange man looked like he would provide that.  
>Godot opened his mouth and out came his velvet smooth voice, "I hear that this competition shall be unpredictable, yet somewhat alluring... It reminds me of my special blend #108." And with that, he downed the mug of coffee that he held in his hand and jumped down off the stage to join the others.<br>Lang stopped for a moment before thinking: _Well... I guess when he looks like that he's bound to be a bit eccentric._

Kay pushed a final button.  
>"Our next contestant is always a fan favorite. Whenever this person is around, you can't help but feel elated~! And so, due to popular audience demand, will you please welcome-"<p>

Kay couldn't announce the name of the contestant as they interrupted her by shrieking:

"WHIPPERSNAPPERS!"

Miles immediately became tense. Lang noticed this and looked at the prosecutor, who had now turned a whiter shade of pale.  
><em>Kay didn't... She wouldn't...<em> _WHY?_

"It's Wendy Oldbag everyone~!" Announced the Yatagarasu.  
>Said new competitor turned and glared at the young thief. "How dare you coop me down there you whippersnapper! I tell you, young people today! No respect! It's like that time that I went down to the store and I came back laden with shopping! There were young people everywhere! Did they offer assistance to this poor old lady? NO! I tell you-" And the old bag was off on one of her rants. All the other contestants were cringing at the thought of having to spend the entire day with her. Suddenly, Wendy stopped mid rant when she clapped eyes on a certain someone.<p>

"Edgey-poo~~!" The old lady's voice turned all dreamy and adoring. "How are you my darling Edgey-poo? It's been a long time hasn't it?" She was blushing now, and Lang just stared at this old lady as she was clearly flirting with _his _boyfriend. He narrowed his eyes but then felt a tug on his sleeve. It was Miles. He looked up at the agent and then said, "Just kill me now!" He quickly glared daggers into Kay for inviting this old lady to come along and compete before he leaned against the agent. He sighed and said quietly, "It's going to be a long day..."

"ALRIIIIGHT~!" Kay exclaimed happily. "Now that you have met our new contestants it is time to clarify the rules! This game is Lang Zi Says and the rules of this game are simple. Everyone takes turns to say what Lang Zi says, and the person they are aiming for has to perform it. No matter what! Failure to comply with Lang Zi's request results in immediate disqualification. Eventually only one will be left standing and they will become the champion! The champion gets to choose one of the contestants to be their slave for a day, and they must be compliant with each and every request that they get! Also, if someone has to perform a Lang Zi on you, then you must let them do it, otherwise you shall be out!"

Kay grinned as she saw all those who were here the previous year groan at the memories of last year.  
>"And don't ever think about lying~" she started to melodically say this next bit. "Because if you do, Little Thief will alert me to it! If you lie during a Lang Zi where you have to tell the truth, then you're out and you will have to sit on the Loser's Bench~!" Kay motioned towards a bench to her right hand side on the stage.<p>

"Everyone clear about what they must do?"  
>All nodded.<br>"Well then, let's get this year's tournament underway! The second annual Lang Zi Says Tournament has begun~!"

And so the competition began. The game that defies any and all reason has returned!

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**And so we come to the end of the first chapter! Are you guys ready to see our favorite characters be put into ludicrous situations once again? I know I am~! ^_^ As always I urge to review, I love reviews so much~! If you have an idea for a Lang Zi that you want a character to do then please feel free to mention it and I shall endeavor to work it into the story :) Also, like last time, I am planning on doing an interview chapter at the end, so please leave your questions for the characters and me throughout the course of the story. Until next time dear readers~~! ^.^**

**xx-animeXalchemist-XX**


	2. Formidable Opponents

**Morning all~~! ^_^ I'm so happy to get so many reviews, and I love how everyone had the same thoughts I did on one of Godot's Lang Zi's XD Yes, I will be incorporating that one into the story at some point. In fact, I'm gonna use all the ones suggested at some point so keep reading because you may come across your Lang Zi Says in a later chapter. In the mean time, let's carry on with chapter 2~~! And look out for a familiar face ;)  
><strong>

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Chapter Two- Formidable Opponents

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.10pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"Let's get this party started~! I can't wait to see what trials await our contestants this year!" Kay was busy doing a very complicated gymnastics routine on the stage as she expressed her excitement. Stopping suddenly and looking at the contestants in front of her, she smiled and pointed at a certain scruffy detective.  
>"Gummy, we didn't get much of a chance to see you last year so would you do the honours of starting us off this year?"<br>"Sure thing pal! I've got a really good Lang Zi, I thought really hard about it!" Gumshoe grinned, obviously proud of the Lang Zi he was going to dish out. However, before he could reveal what it was, Edgeworth came up to him and said in a hushed voice so only the detective could hear, "Unless you don't want your salary to be cut, you will give this Lang Zi to the old lady."  
>Gumshoe was surprised at this, it wasn't usually Edgeworth's style to target someone so obviously, the prosecutor preferred to go about things in a more subtle way.<p>

"That's not usually how a gentleman behaves sir," commented scruffy absentmindedly.  
>Miles sighed, knowing full well that he shouldn't really target someone so early on, let alone an old lady. <em>But she harasses me constantly, I can't let her stay around too long or who knows what she'll make me do! So regardless of the fact that I'm shunning chivalry, I have to get her out!<em>

Not wanting to go against the silver haired man's request, Gumshoe cleared his throat and said, "Wendy Oldbag, Lang Zi Says: Climb that tree over there pal!" Gumshoe pointed to a tree that was very familiar to past contestants, and they all looked shocked at the idea of this poor (yet annoying) old lady having to go through the ordeal that would inevitably occur. Even Edgeworth, who wanted Oldbag out more than anything, wasn't sure he should allow her to be subjected to the horror that would soon unleash itself.

"Nice twist Gummy, giving us a taste of the vintage Lang Zi's from last year~!" Sang Kay. "Well let's go Ms. Oldbag, climb that tree~!"

"Whippersnappers!" Exclaimed the old bag, "How dare you give such a strenuous task to a poor old lady? I tell you, young people nowadays have no respect whatsoever! It's just like the time I was a security guard, and some kids were messing around! I went to tell them to go away but did they listen to me? No! They carried on and called me the most shocking names you've ever heard! So I-" There was just no stopping her once she got started. After five minutes of deafening ranting, Wendy finally shut up. No matter what anyone may have thought before, there was now a unanimous feeling of: climb that tree right now and accept your fate!

"Umm... Ms. Oldbag? You have to do the Lang Zi now," Kay was doing her best to remind the grey haired lady of what she had to do, without angering her and setting her off on another rant.  
>"Silence whippersnapper! I know what I have to do! Honestly, young people these days have no respect..." She started mumbling some angered words at the youth of today but she went up to the tree she had to climb and set about her task. All those years of working as a security guard had made Oldbag rather formidable, so she pulled herself onto the first branch with ease. She made light work of the bottom branches, ascending at a constant rate. Despite gaining loads of enemies due to her excessive ranting, she gained respect from the others as well. After all, here was this old lady of at least 105 climbing a tree and doing it at an impressive speed as well.<p>

Sadly, those who were here the previous year knew that her ascent would soon be brought to a crashing halt, and sure enough a rustling sound became audible and the tree started to shake. At first, the shaking was fairly gentle and so Wendy disregarded it, but in the space of a few seconds the shaking became rather violent. The shaking wasn't the only thing becoming more and more hostile, the old lady's mood was rapidly heading in the same direction. "WHIPPERSNAPPERS! What is the meaning of this?"

Wendy soon found out what the meaning of it was, as a rapid blur of grey collided into her and she started falling from the tree. However, as I mentioned before, all her work as a security guard had made her formidable and so right before she hit the ground she managed to grab onto a branch and land neatly on the ground. No one could believe what they just saw, but that was nothing compared to what was about to happen.  
>The man eating squirrel clearly remembered the intruders in his field from last year, and was not in a good mood at all. He flew at Oldbag, who used all her guard skills to block the attack and swing a quick punch, which landed cleanly on her opponents right cheek. The squirrel was thrown backwards, but quickly regained its composure and flew at the old lady once again. Being the age she was, Wendy wasn't the quickest person in the world, and so she had no hope of dodging. The squirrel managed to swipe at her left arm, tearing through the material and causing a cut. This was a fatal mistake on the rodent's behalf.<p>

"WHIPPERSNAPPER!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Honestly, animals these days have no respect! Why, it's just like the time I was walking in the park and there was a pond so I brought some bread to feed the ducks. But were they grateful? NO! All they did was ask for more and they didn't even say thank you! Why, I tell you-" Yelling at the top of her lungs, the squirrel's tiny ears couldn't take the abuse. Oldbag saw this, and picked the man eating squirrel up by the scruff of his neck and yelled even louder before eventually, the poor creature had passed out. With that, the old lady simply said, "Hmph! Doesn't even have the decency to listen to this poor old lady," and tossed the squirrel over her back so it landed in the tree.

The infamous WTF faces that look like this: O_O were back, and appeared on everyone's face. They could not believe what they had just seen, it looked like Oldbag used epic ninja ranting skills to weaken her opponent and then strike a critical blow. Lang couldn't help but be impressed with this fighting tactic, but he was still suspicious of her because of the way she acted towards Miles.

Kay was the first to enter reality. "Well, this competition has already taken an interesting turn, with Wendy Oldbag defeating the Random Field's man eating squirrel like it was nothing! Is there anything this old lady can't do?" Kay resumed her lively skipping routine about the stage, "It looks like she'll be one to watch this year!"

"Edgey-poo~! Did you see what I did? Were you impressed, my darling?" Wendy sauntered up to Miles and put her arms around him. "Looks like we can still be in the competition together~!" You could actually see sparkles surrounding her. Lang growled at her but she simply said, "Leave us alone, whippersnapper," which angered the wolf more and caused Edgeworth to nearly die there and then. _If no one gets her out soon then Lang is going to lose it..._

"Ahem, I know we are all full of anticipation to see what will happen next and so..." Kay started to spin quickly in circles before randomly stopping and pointing at someone. That someone was a certain notorious 'ladies man'. Kay smiled, "Larry Butz, would you please issue the next Lang Zi?"  
>"You bet!" Said the eager man, grinning widely. He looked at Franziska, who gave a death glare in return.<br>"You're even more of a fool than I thought if you really think you can give me a Lang Zi!"  
>"Don't worry Franzy," he said cheerfully, although the use of this nickname earned him a lash of the prosecuting prodigy's whip. Nevertheless, Larry withstood the pain and proceeded to give the Lang Zi he had been thinking of ever since he saw the game last year. "Franziska von Karma, Lang Zi Says: Go out with me." The sparkles that had surrounded Oldbag previously were now attached to Larry, he was positively glowing at the prospect of having the blue haired woman as his girlfriend. Everyone looked at him awkwardly. Miles was the one who said something in the end.<p>

"Are you actually that much of an idiot Larry?" he sighed. "You were here briefly last year, and you know full well that Franziska is already in a relationship."  
>"Yeah I know, but I thought that would be kinda irrelevant cuz aren't ya supposed to do whatever someone says in this game?" Larry had a point. Franziska gave another vicious lash at the brunette.<br>"How dare you have the nerve to even think you could go out with _me_, who is perfection personified?" She snarled.  
>"But... scientifically speaking, don't you have to go out with him? I mean, it is the rules of the game," reasoned Ema.<br>"I refuse to allow it!" Franziska smacked her whip on the ground to show that she meant business.  
>"Well then... according to all the scientific laws you should be out..." Ema's voice died down a bit towards the end of her sentence because the young von Karma shot her a look that would turn even Satan into a sniveling baby.<p>

Unsure of how to proceed, the competitors looked at Kay who was bound to have drawn some conclusion as it is her game. She paused for a moment, looking deep in thought before she said earnestly, "That is an illegal Lang Zi. We have standards in this game, and we do not condone forcing someone to have an affair."  
>Despite agreeing with the thief on that point, Miles found it difficult to not say: "So you're okay with people getting mauled by squirrels, whipped half to death and losing every shred of dignity they have, but when it comes to a small argument between partners you draw the line? That doesn't make any sense!" However, he thought better of it because he knew that Kay wouldn't listen to reason.<p>

Once Franziska heard that the Lang Zi didn't count, she breathed a sigh of relief before looking at Larry in a way that said: You better start running because I'm about to kill you.  
>Three harsh lashes in and Larry was nearly reduced to tears, but he pulled whatever strength he could together and gasped out, "Fine! If I can't have that other Lang Zi then Lang Zi Says: Burn that whip!"<p>

The prosecutor stopped.  
>Larry regained his breath and stood upright.<br>All the other competitors wondered why the hell they hadn't thought of that Lang Zi last year. _That would have made life so much easier! _They all thought, especially Gumshoe who was taken out of the competition prematurely due to one of Franziska's vicious attacks.  
>"Burn my whip?" The blue haired one repeated slowly.<br>"I see nothing wrong with that~!" Kay hummed tunelessly. "Well, burn that whip! C'mon Miss. vK, here's a flamethrower to get you started!"

Kay rummaged around back stage for a minute or so before emerging with a flamethrower.  
>"Kay! Where did you-" But Edgey didn't even bother with the question in the end. <em>After last year, am I really surprised that she has a flamethrower? <em>Despite this, he still didn't think that anyone was safe as long as the flamethrower was in the hands of the young Yatagarasu.

Deciding that a flamethrower isn't the safest thing to casually fling at someone, Kay handed it over with caution. Franziska just stood there, motionless. _Those fools expect me to burn my whip? Did they not read my moving story from last year's tournament about why I'm so attached to it? This is an outrage! Whips hold sentimental value!_

But whether they held sentimental value or not, the young prosecutor had to complete this Lang Zi or risk being the first one out. _And as I am pure perfection, I will NOT allow that to happen! Although... I'm not 100% sure that burning my current whip will be safe..._

Laying the coveted whip down on the floor, Franziska aimed the flamethrower at it.

"Wait a minute, isn't that dangerous? We're in a field full of grass, so won't you just end up setting the whole field on fire?" Everyone nodded at Lana's wise words.  
>"That's not a problem!" Kay beamed as she ran off the stage for a brief moment and reappeared with a giant hose. "This'll put out any fires, should they occur. I'm sure you'll remember this hose, right Mr. Edgeworth? You to Wolfie," Kay winked. Lang smirked at the memory the thief was referring to, while Edgeworth just cringed. <em>That you Kay, for bringing back painful memories, <em>he thought sarcastically.  
>"Wait!" Lana said again, more urgently. "I really think this could be dangerous so... why don't you just give the whip to me?" The district attorney tried to sound casual but it was obvious that she wanted the whip in her possession.<br>"Err... sis, after last year do you really think that's the best option?" Ema asked uneasily.  
>"I don't know what you're talking about," Lana waved her hand at her sister as though to shoo away what she had just said, but she eyed the whip as she did this. "I merely think that giving it to me would be safer than burning it."<br>"You fool! After last year do you honestly think I'd allow you possession of my whip? Never!" Franziska was resolute in her statement.

Hose poised and at the ready, Franziska activated the weapon she held in her hands and bright orange flames shot out, engulfing her whip.  
>"Burn, baby burn~!" Kay sang, disregarding her duty as emergency fire stopper and swinging the giant hose around her head like a lasso.<br>However, after thirty seconds of burning, the whip showed no signs of disintegrating into ash. "Just as I thought," the blue haired one muttered, "then it shouldn't be long now until..."

A huge explosion suddenly engulfed the majority of the field, yet nothing seemed to be burned or damaged. The flames roared higher and higher, the source of the flames was the whip. Everyone stood back and eventually a dark shadow from within the flames became visible. The shadow started to take on some sort of form, it was like a giant four legged beast. A mighty roar erupted from what could only be presumed to be its mouth, and everyone was sent staggering backwards slightly due to the force of it.  
>"I WILL NEVER BE DESTROYED!" And with that, the beast and the flames burst so that a huge flash of blinding light dispersed rapidly through the field.<p>

Once it was safe to open their eyes, everyone stared at Franziska with those WTF faces we know so well.  
>"Explain. Now." Edgeworth said firmly.<p>

"I shouldn't have to answer to you, little brother! Don't you know that I am per-"  
>"Yes, yes you are perfection. Now explain what on earth is up with that whip!" Miles pointed to where the young von Karma's whip lay, completely unscathed.<p>

"I had a court case a while back that involved Kurain Village. While I was there I saw this whip," she explained as she picked her whip up from the ground. "As I was doing them a favour by prosecuting against someone that had stolen something important from their village, they said I could have this whip. But..." Franziska stopped, gathering her thoughts before she continued. "But they told me to be a bit wary of the whip because it contains the soul of a demon."

"So, knowing that this whip was demonic, you accepted it?" Pressed the silver haired one.  
>"Yes," Franziska said simply. "All my whips get worn out so quickly, especially when I'm on a case with Scruffy over there." She indicated to Gumshoe, who was smiling sheepishly. "When they told me that this whip was virtually indestructible, I simply couldn't refuse. That is all, now let's stop with trivial stories and get on with the competition." And with that, the prosecuting prodigy handed the flamethrower back to Kay and joined the rest of the group.<p>

"Ummm... Okay then. Right, let's see who will have to face the next Lang Zi then~!"  
>Miles sighed, "Nothing will deter her from this stupid game."<br>"Heh, I think it's kinda cool. Not even demons from the underworld can put her off!" chuckled Lang who was by Edgeworth's side, keeping a close eye on the old lady who had been all over Miles earlier.

"Okay, here we go~!" Beamed Kay, twirling all over the stage.

The Lang Zi Says Tournament was about to get a whole lot more interesting!

x~x~x~x~x

**Alright~! So, thoughts everyone? I hope you're ready for the next chapter, where I will work in some of YOUR suggested Lang Zi's ^_^ Keep your suggestions coming, and don't forget you are more than welcome to leave questions for me and/or the characters for the final chapter~! Please review my lovely readers~! :3**

**Thank you so much for reading my fic *bows***

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx  
><strong>


	3. Grand Theft PDA, Swimming Edition!

**Why hello there everyone~! I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages but I had my GCSEs then DofE, but now it's the Summer so I can update more~! ^_^ Before I get started I want to say something in response to **_**Mr. A. Person**_**. You said that the contestants should be out for failure of Lang Zi completion, but technically they both fulfilled what was required. Franziska did burn her whip, it just didn't turn into ash for it is an indestructible demon :P And yes I am well aware that Oldbag didn't reach the top of the tree, however her Lang Zi was to merely climb the tree, not reach the top (whereas last year part of the Meekins Lang Zi was for him to reach the top). Don't worry, if someone fails a Lang Zi they will definitely be out :P****  
><strong>Alright, so on with the story~<strong>  
><strong>No... no I do not own Ace Attorney... but the master plan is coming together nicely *evil aura* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough, cough* Bleh...<strong>**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Three- Grand Theft PDA, Swimming Edition!

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.25pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"Godot, I choose you!"

Cart-wheeling and ending in a round-off, Kay pointed at the coffee drinker with a look of anticipation in her eyes. "I'm sure whatever you come up with will be aawweessoommeee~~!"

Everyone looked at Godot who simply stood there, motionless. After a few seconds of looking like a statue, Godot brought his hand up under his chin, striking a very intelligent looking pose. Everyone was silent; waiting to see what profound words would be spoken. Eventually, he spoke.

"This competition... it has a rough, untamed nature. It reminds me oh so much of my special blend #147. It amazes me how one so refined as Edgeworth could possibly triumph in this harsh competition." As he said this, he used his amazing powers to summon up a cup of coffee. He drank it with a meaningful expression. _Even the strongest of coffees have an element of weakness about them. I simply have to recall what makes Edgeworth squirm..._

As if struck by sudden inspiration, the eccentric prosecutor smirked as he figured out what was sure to push Miles to his limits.  
>"I shall challenge the previous champion. Miles Edgeworth. Lang Zi Says: Go skinny dipping with Damon Gant."<p>

He said it as though it was one of the most natural things in the world, calmly sipping his coffee and completely ignoring the utterly shocked and perplexed expressions of the other contestants around him.

"You can't be serious!" It was the other half of the Legendary Duo- Lana Skye- who spoke first. _I never want to see that heinous man ever again!_

Lang started growling once again. _Is everyone deliberately trying to annoy me by making Miles do stuff like this? First that old lady, now some guy called Gant? What the Hell is going on!_

Edgeworth wasn't really showing any reaction, just a hint of confusion in his eyes. Being the gentleman that he was, no one was really that shocked when the silver haired one asked, "What on earth is skinny dipping?"

"Well~" began Kay, "It's swimming, wearing nothing but a smile~!"

It was clear that Miles didn't understand what his assistant was hinting at.  
>"It's swimming naked, in the buff, commando, in your birthday suit! It's super fun Edgey!" Larry had a goofy grin on and was giving Edgeworth a big thumbs up.<p>

"W-What? People actually... go swimming without the appropriate attire?" Miles was shocked at this. "And you honestly expect me to do such a thing?" The question wasn't really aimed at anyone, but Godot took the liberty of answering.

"Not really, no. That is, of course, why I issued this Lang Zi." The velvet smooth voice held a hint of amusement, and Godot took another sip of his coffee.

"Well, I'd best get things set up," decided Kay, "So ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome: Mr. Damon Gant!"  
>Rising up from the platform that had delivered the three new contestants earlier that day, a rather strange looking man wearing a bright orange suit appeared.<p>

"How on earth did you get him here that fast?" Asked Maggey.  
>"Meh, Jeremy Kyle has nothing on us! There is nothing that I, the Yatagarasu, cannot do!"<p>

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.28pm-<br>-Place: Under The Stage-

Beneath the stage were a plethora of people. These people had been told that if they came to the Random Field that day, they would receive a free holiday. In fact, what they really got was a dark room beneath the stage. Who were these people? Well, they were the people that Kay suspected may be called upon for Lang Zi's. For some odd reason, she only thought that the complete bastards would be needed.

"Looks like swim guy's gone. So's... how's you's guys get here?" Asked a man who appeared to have an awful sunburn.

"Silence! I refuse to even talk to you, you subhuman trash! I cannot believe that someone as perfect as I have to even share the same air as all of you!"

"Aw~ Don't be so accusifying Manny! Surely you can at least enjoyify your daughter's performancification!"

"OBJECTION!" Came a screeching voice. "What the heck is he trying to say?"

"Beats me, you's guys are weird. I'm only here to beat the crap outta that damn wolf!" Tigre growled as he remembered the unfair tactics Lang had used last year.

"My daughter will naturally win, she is perfection after all." Manfred snapped his fingers as he said this resolutely. "I will not tolerate anything less!"

"Well I'm not sure why exactitically I am here, but I shall at least grab some relaxification while I can~!" Cooed a man with awful dress sense. "Why this could be rather splendiforous!" Redd White grinned while Winston Payne was still trying to understand what he was on about.

"I don't even know why I'm here..." he said, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now.

"You's guys up for a game of cards?" Don asked, producing a pack of playing cards from his shirt.

"Well as I am perfect, I shall win!" boomed Manfred, "But why not? It will kill some time."  
>"Perfectionista! I shall enjoyify this!" Redd White gestured to be dealt in.<br>"Why not," sighed Payne, deciding he might as well do something to pass the time. Although, he was rather nervous about being surrounded by all these scary men... and shouldn't they all be in jail?

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.34pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

_Thank goodness I was right about Gant being used for a Lang Zi... and I'm sure Tigre will probably make an appearance at some point. Oh, why am I so brilliant? _Kay giggled to herself as she complimented herself.

"Right then, now that we have Gant here, and a jacuzzi," she motioned to an area of the Random Field where a jacuzzi now sat (courtesy of Max Galactica's magic), "We can begin. Strip you two!"

Gant clapped his hands and laughed. "Ah, I never thought I'd ever get to go swimming with you Worthy! You know, I've always said that we should all go swimming together sometime! Jolly!" Damon seemed to have absolutely no qualms in stripping on the spot, shedding his orange suit in no time at all. Thankfully, he didn't get completely naked (as no one wanted to see that) and he stood there wearing a pair of bright orange Speedos. He clapped some more, "Come now Worthy. Strip to your underwear and we can get naked in the jacuzzi!"

Miles stared. He was physically incapable of movement. _He... he can't be serious!__  
><em>"I refuse to partake in this ludicrous Lang Zi! I'm out…" Miles said this seriously, asserting his authority.

"What? No fair Mr. Edgeworth! You have to compete to the best of your abilities, remember? There's nothing stopping you from doing this!" Kay was doing her best to protest against Miles, but it didn't seem like he would be persuaded otherwise.  
>"This is absolutely ridiculous Kay! To think that I would want to go swimming with Gant in the first place is in itself unfeasible. And you want me to do it naked? No, I refuse."<p>

_This is bad; Mr. Edgeworth needs to stay in! At least until he gets taken out by a proper Lang Zi! I need to find a way to make him compete properly..._

"I didn't want it to come to this," sighed Kay, "But, you leave me no choice: Bonus Lang Zi's!"

"What are you going on about now?" Asked Edgeworth, an edge of frustration to his tone. "I've already told you that I refuse to compete, I'm out." With that, Miles started to proceed to the Loser's Bench on the stage, but the raven haired girl stopped him.

"Bonus Lang Zi's are Lang Zi's that give you a special advantage later on in the game. I have decided that this Lang Zi is one of those Lang Zi's. Basically, if you complete this Lang Zi Mr. Edgeworth, you can reject a Lang Zi later on in the competition." Kay watched the prosecutor carefully, waiting to see what he'd do.

This suggestion certainly grabbed Edgeworth's attention. _With the ability to turn down a Lang Zi in the future... I could avoid having to do a Lang Zi with the old lady! Plus, I'd stay in. Do I really want to risk becoming someone's slave for a day? _As Miles was busy weighing up his options, a certain blue haired hot head spoke up.

"OBJECTION! You can't just make up a rule like that!"  
>"Of course I can," Kay said simply.<br>"It's not fair!"  
>"Yes it is, I can decide to make any Lang Zi a bonus Lang Zi. So you may end up getting one at some point."<br>"I still say that this is a foolish idea! You have no right to change the rules so haphazardly you fool!" Upon saying this, Franziska found a huge book flying at her. She just about managed to catch it, glaring at the Yatagarasu who had thrown it.  
>"Open it," said the thief.<p>

Once the book was open, this is what the young von Karma saw scribbled in Kay's scruffy scrawl:

_Anything Kay say's is absolute. It is her game and so she is the one who__  
><em>decides what the rules may be. If the rules are changed during the game<em>  
><em>by her, it is acceptable. This applies to all pages. So stop being such a pain...<em>  
><em>Ms. von Karma!<em>_

"What? How is my name there? As I am perfection, I quite clearly remember my little brother's name being written here!"  
>"In all honesty, you and Mr. Edgeworth were the most likely to cause a fuss so I created two rule books with both your names inside." Kay shrugged, "Either way, the Bonus Lang Zi's are here to stay."<p>

The Yatagarasu looked at Miles, "Well then Mr. Edgeworth, it's time for you to strip!"

"Ngh... Darn it Kay!" Miles was confident in court, everybody knew that, but when it came to things like having to undress in front of people... well that's where his confidence began to waver. Edgeworth reached to his neck to undo his cravat when he suddenly realised something.

_I can't take my cravat off or undress at all! Otherwise..._

Miles vaguely remembered being asked a certain question last year: _So, Miles, do you have a new use for your cravat? I mean, does Shin like to leave hickeys or love bites... Or perhaps does he like to leave both?_

_Dammit Lang! Undressing is bad enough, but if I do it now then everyone will see... _Kay looked at the prosecutor with a curious expression, wondering why he had suddenly decided to freeze.  
>"Erm... Mr. Edgeworth? You kinda have to undress now."<p>

Lang was also wondering why Miles had frozen, but when he saw the blush rising in his boyfriend's cheeks, he very quickly figured out why. _Hmm... I should have known that something like this would have come up... perhaps I should have held back a bit... _But despite thinking this, Lang couldn't help a cheeky grin appearing on his face.

It wasn't long before Kay also figured out the reason why Edgey was so reluctant to undress. "Oh, I see~" she cooed. "KYAAAAAAAAAAA~!" She squealed and let her fangirl fantasies get the best of her.

Miles wanted to die right about now, but he knew that he had to get into that jacuzzi. _It's ironic how the actual undressing is proving to be more difficult then having to get into the jacuzzi with Gant! _Edgeworth was cringing, desperately trying to come up with something. Then, it hit him.

Removing only his shoes and his socks, the contestants watched as Miles climbed into the jacuzzi fully clothed. Once he was submersed in the water, with only his head above the water, he began to shed his clothes and lay them carefully by the side of the jacuzzi. _My clothes are wet but at least this is much more preferable to everyone seeing... well, you know. _Miles was too embarrassed to even think about it.

Oldbag was busy blushing and sparkling as she looked on at her darling Edgey-poo in such a situation, and Ema also had a small blush on her cheeks. It would only be fair to say that Miles had a damn fine body, nice and toned, and so the other competitors couldn't help but look on. This irked a certain wolf, who was rapidly becoming very jealous despite Miles was actually _his _boyfriend and no one else's. Once Kay saw that the silver haired one's Calvin Klein (only the best for Miles) boxers were with the rest of his clothes, she commanded Gant to join him.

In spite of the fact that Lang desperately wanted to stop Gant, he knew that he had no choice. He knew that Miles wouldn't allow anything to happen anyway. The wolf looked away so as to stop himself from interrupting the Lang Zi and being out. _I hope this is over quickly..._

Kay saw the melancholy look on Shi-Long's face and couldn't stop a pang of guilt taking over for a few seconds. _Man... This must be really rough on him... _But Kay realised that it was her duty as host to not get overly sympathetic with the competitors, and so focused on the current Lang Zi once again.

Damon was now in the jacuzzi with Miles, and after a few seconds fluorescent orange speedos had been chucked out of the jacuzzi.

A shiver ran through the other competitors, I mean come on: who really wants the image of a naked Damon Gant in their heads?

"Okay~ Seeing as Godot didn't specify a certain time, I'll just go with five minutes starting now. Let's see how Mr. Edgeworth will hold out~!" Kay was grinning widely, obviously expecting something dramatic to happen.

Miles made sure he was as far away from the former Chief of Police as possible and made certain to stay as submerged in the water as he possibly could. _Okay, just five minutes. I can do this!_

As if reading his thoughts, Gant said in a mock hurt voice, "Aww, you can't dislike it _that _much Worthy!" He laughed and clapped his hands in the usual way.  
>Deciding against calling Gant's strange habit annoying (for fear of him unleashing that scary ass monster he can become), Miles instead said, "Please stop calling me 'Worthy', it is most irritating."<p>

"Oh come now Worthy, you don't mean that!" Damon moved closer to the silver haired one, who attempted to keep the distance between them but failed. Before he knew what was happening, a tanned (or should I say orange?) arm was casually draped around him, pulling him as close as possible to the mad man.

"G-Gant! Unhand me at once!" Protested the prosecutor, but the other refused to grant the request.  
>"Oh I do so love swimming~!" Damon laughed as he saw Miles getting more and more uncomfortable.<p>

Looking on at the scene playing out in front of him, Godot let out a low chuckle. _Looks like I was right to go for this Lang Zi, the champion doesn't look like he can take much more of this._

Miles wasn't the only one who could barely take anymore; Lang was calling upon every bit of restraint he had in order to stop himself from killing Gant for putting his arm around Miles. Kay saw the predatory look in the wolf's eyes, and checked the timer to see how much time was left as she was slightly worried that Shi-Long might actually murder Gant if he kept this up for much longer. _Two minutes left..._

"Hm? Worthy, why so tense? Swimming is meant to be relaxing!"  
>"I could relax much better if you would release me!" Miles was rapidly descending into anger mode, and he shot his infamous death glare at the ex police chief.<br>"Now now Worthy, it can't be that bad!" As he said this, Damon withdrew his arm from around Miles and resumed his usual clapping routine. Thankful to have been set free, Edgeworth set about putting extreme distance between the both of them, forgetting to stay as covered with water as possible.

"Worthy? My, my... what have we here?" Gant was looking intently at Miles, and when said person followed his gaze his eyes widened and he was instantly the colour of his favourite suit. "Hehe... who would have guessed that you, Worthy..." Gant was once again next to Miles, inspecting the marks further. "Well there's no mistaking it, these are definitely-"  
>"Gant! Cease what you are about to say!" Although sounding very serious, Damon couldn't take Miles seriously with the blush he currently had.<p>

He laughed once again (honestly, what is it with the laughing?) and clapped. "It really is amazing, the things you find out while swimming!"  
>Just as Miles was about to crack and give up, Kay said the words that he had longed to hear ever since the beginning of this whole ordeal: "Times up~~!"<p>

Ladies and gentlemen, you may or may not know that scientists have concluded that it is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light. I would like to tell you now that all these scientists are wrong, because as soon as Miles heard those words he was out of that jacuzzi in an instant, and no one ever saw him. Yes, he really was travelling _that _fast.

After a few minutes, Miles appeared from behind the stage, all dry (as well as his suit as he had found a tumble dryer lying around) and ready to continue on with the competition. _How humiliating, I hate this competition! But at least I'm still in._

While Edgeworth was busy getting himself sorted out, Kay had returned Gant to underneath the stage where he proceeded to join in the poker game that had started during his brief absence (Tigre was currently winning, but Manfred was convinced that the loan shark was cheating and so was giving him a terrifying glare).

"Right then, now that Mr. Edgeworth has returned let's crack on shall we? Just give me a minute to make the jacuzzi disappear."

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.42pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

After successfully recalling how Max had taught her how to make objects disappear, thus clearing the field of the jacuzzi, Kay looked around to see who should give the next Lang Zi.

"Ms. Skye, would you be willing to provide us with the next Lang Zi?"

"Yes, and I think it's about time to get rid of some of the competition. Therefore, like last time, I shall use the Lang Zi that shall result in at least one person having to sit on that Loser's Bench up there." She had a sweet smile on her face as she said this, it was very unnerving.

"Well then, seeing as it provided such an interesting source of entertainment last year..."

Maggey groaned. She knew what the district prosecutor was about to say and she looked at her with a pleading gaze that said, "_Please _don't make me go through this again!" However, the elder Skye ignored this and said, "Maggey Byrde. Lang Zi Says: Break my sisters PDA. Oh, and Ema? You're allowed to run away this time and make it as difficult as possible for Maggey."

Maggey face-palmed. _I really don't wanna do this! _Climbing up onto the stage to where Kay was, she grabbed onto the young thief desperately and looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. "_Please _tell her to change that Lang Zi!" She pleaded. However, Kay just looked at her with a blank expression. "Why? It was awesome watching you two last year~!" She beamed. "There is nothing wrong with that Lang Zi, so give it your best shot Maggey~!" With that, the Yatagarasu shook the ex-cop off of her and sent her back to join the others so that Lana could give her more details.

"Needless to say-" Lana began but Maggey interrupted her.  
>"Yeah yeah, I only have ten minutes to complete this thing, right?"<br>"That is correct. Oh, I failed to mention that this time around, my sister has her Moped... I'd get going if I were you; she's already putting quite a bit of distance between you two." Maggey looked where Lana was indicating just in time for her to see what she had seen last year: a white lab coat disappearing over a fence and out of the field.

Wasting no time, the brunette was soon sprinting after her target. _Thank God I don't have to run the whole thing this time around! I have to at least be able to see which way she's gonna drive off in, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem... Mopeds aren't that fast right? I'll simply hop in my car and- _Another face-palm. _Dammit, I took the train today! That's what I get for trying to be environmentally friendly! Looks like I'll have to find an alternative, but there's always my secret weapon... _

Making it out of the field just in time to see Ema in the distance heading down the left road on a pink Moped, Maggey was left perplexed. _I thought Moped's were meant to be slow! Wait... what are the odds that she's used some 'scientific techniques' to boost the engine?_

Deciding that breaking the law was necessary in order to complete this Lang Zi, the brunette spotted a nearby car and decided that it would have to suffice. Expertly picking the lock with one of her hair pins (she had learned a lot in her years as a cop from all the people she had arrested) and hot wiring the car, the ex-police officer was soon hurtling after Ema.

Meanwhile, back in the Random Field, Kay was busy handing popcorn to everyone. They were currently watching all the action unfold on a giant screen on the stage, getting all the best shots every time. _That's right, _thought Edgeworth, _I meant to investigate into how Kay managed to tap into all the city's cameras..._

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 1.50pm-<br>-Place: City [High Speed Chase]-

-Ema's POV-

_Right, this whole thing shouldn't be as tiring as last time. All I have to do is hold out for ten minutes, and with my super sweet Moped that shouldn't be a problem!_

The young scientist was currently inputting certain data into the PDA that had come under attack once again, calculating the percentage chance she had of making it through the allotted time.

_67% huh? Hmm... Not as promising as I'd hoped. But still, the odds are in my favour! Honestly, I don't see why Lana had to issue this Lang Zi again, she's so mean!_

Flying down the road at top speed, Ema was sure that she had this one in the bag. However, she didn't forget the fight Maggey had put up last year and so she didn't allow herself to get complacent at all.

-Maggey's POV-

_I'll be damned if this takes me out of the competition again this year!_

Still carrying resentment for last year, the brunette was determined to go to any and all lengths to succeed this time around. Putting the car she had, ahem "borrowed", into top gear, she soon had Ema in her sights. Despite the fact that she was well over the speed limit, Maggey carried on increasing her speed until she was very close to Ema... perhaps even close enough to reach out and-

*cough, splutter*

"What on earth?" Question the ex-cop.

...Silence...

"You can't be serious... it died on me?" Checking the fuel gauge, Maggey's spirits dropped when she saw a big fat zero on the display. "Dammit, I don't have time for this!"

She saw her target pull away once again. _I have to find another vehicle and quick! _Getting out of the car, Maggey looked around frantically but couldn't see anything that looked suitable.

_This is a nightmare!_

-Ema's POV-

_Phew, that was WAY too close! It appears that her car died though, so it looks like I'm safe for now. Good thing this thing isn't in any danger of-_

"Danger, low battery life remaining. Please recharge."

An automated voice sounded this warning over and over, and a horrified Ema looked to find that her Moped did indeed need charging, and desperately. _I guess trying to create an electric Moped that would last longer than a few minutes simply isn't possible at the moment... this isn't good! I'll have to find something else to travel in!_

Ema looked around, knowing she had about two minutes before her Moped died completely. She looked up and smiled, seeing a familiar place where she could at least keep her Moped and know that it would be safe.

"'Wright & Co. Law Offices' is the perfect place! I'm pretty sure Mr. Wright will be able to look after my Moped for a while." Driving up to the building, a girl clapped eyes on Ema.

"Hey Ema! You okay?" Came a cheerful voice.  
>"Oh, hey Maya! Yeah, I guess I'm managing... look, can I ask a favour?"<br>"Err... sure I guess."  
>"Right, you see that burger stand over there? I'll give you twenty dollars and you can buy as many burgers as you want from there, as long as you promise to look after my Moped for the day. Deal?"<p>

"You had me at burgers! Sure thing Ema, I'll definitely take you up on your offer!" Thrusting the twenty dollars into the young spirit medium's hands, Ema ran away looking for a vehicle or mode of transport that she could use.

"Hey, what's the rush Ema?" Maya called after the young girl, but the reply she got was, "Not enough time to explain, sorry! I'll tell you all about it later!" And with that, Ema jumped onto a nearby bus and prayed that Maggey wouldn't realise that she had switched modes of transport.

-Maggey's POV-

_GAH! Are there no decent cars around here! I'm losing so much ground here... _

About to admit defeat, Maggey suddenly spied a bright red motorcycle. _Sweet! This'll be perfect!_

Wasting no time, the brunette hopped onto the motorcycle and used her hair pin to once again turn the lock so that it would start. Driving off at an impressive speed, Maggey was sure that she'd soon see Ema.

"H-Hey! My motorcycle!" A very beautiful woman with red goggles atop her head emerged from a nearby clothes store, laden with bags. She had an angry expression on her face, well who wouldn't after having their motorbike stolen?  
>"Give that back right now!" She yelled, but Maggey was about to do no such thing and zoomed off into the distance.<p>

"Tch! I'll just have to get my darling husband to steal it back later," the woman mumbled. "Oh well, back to shopping~!"

_Nice, it looks like this thing has a full tank of petrol _[A/N I am ENGLISH! If you happen to be American and possibly struggle with the language barrier, petrol is what Amercan's would refer to as 'gas'... I think. But that's kinda weird, I mean gas is what you get when you've eaten one two many burritos... okay, now I'm just rambling. Sorry guys "n.n] _so it won't be running out any time soon. Now time to get that PDA!_

Seeing the infamous 'Wright & Co. Law Offices' looming in the distance, Maggey smiled. _I wonder if Phoenix Wright is there today... is that Maya? _Maggey saw the young spirit medium currently in seventh heaven, buying an endless string of burgers. Slowing down slightly, the brunette only thought it polite to say hello.

"Hi Maya! How're you?" She called cheerily.  
>"Nimggfg gretrhbs," Maya said as she currently had a whole burger in her mouth. Eventually swallowing, Maya said, "Wow, I'm seeing so many people here today! First Ema and now you, it's a small world huh?"<p>

Maggey suddenly spotted the pink Moped that was unmistakably Ema's. "Maya... can I ask why that is there?" She pointed towards the Moped.  
>"Oh, Ema asked me to look after it. Then she ran onto a bus heading in that direction," Maya gestured in the direction Ema had headed and Maggey thanked her quickly before rushing off after the bus.<p>

_Why is everyone in such a hurry today? _Wondered the spirit medium as she consumed yet _another _burger.

-Ema's POV-

_ALRIGHT! I totally have this sorted! There's only four minutes left, and there's no sign of Maggey. This is awesome!_

While Ema was busy doing a little happy dance on the bus, earning her a few odd looks from other passengers, she happened to look out the window and see-

_Wha? No way! Where did she get that motorbike from?_

Utterly shocked to see her pursuer right next to the bus, Ema started to panic. _Can't this bus go any faster?_

Getting up to speak to the driver, Ema did a double take. "J-Judge?"

"Hm? Oh hello there, who might you be?"  
>"It's me, Ema! From the SL-9 case?"<br>"Oh, I see! Well it's lovely to see you again, but I'm currently on my part time job."  
>"...Why are you a bus driver?"<br>"...I... I don't really know..."

_He always was a bit insane, _thought Ema. "Anyway, please could you do me a favour Mr. Judge?"  
>"Ah, what might that be?"<br>"Could you... please make this bus go faster?"  
>"Well my better nature tells me no, but as I allow such unorthodox things to happen in my courtroom, I see no reason why I shouldn't allow unorthodox things to happen on my bus as well." And with that, the judge put the pedal to the metal [AN I swear to God I thought it was pedal to the medal, until I looked it up and Google basically said I was an idiot "-.-] and the bus went hurtling down the road.

-Maggey's POV-

_What on earth? Who's driving that bus, it's going way too fast! _

Accelerating as much as she could, Maggey found herself unable to keep up a consistent speed to match the bus. _In what world is a bus faster than a motorbike? This doesn't make any sense!_

But whether it made sense or not, Maggey still had to keep up if she had any hope of completing this Lang Zi. She sighed; _it looks like I'll have to use my secret weapon..._

Coming to this resolve, the brunette turned down into a narrow alley and out of view...

-Ema's POV-

_Huh? She went the wrong way... just what is she planning?_

All of a sudden, the bus came to a crashing halt.

"Hey, why did we stop?"  
>"This is a bus after all, this a stop."<p>

Almost all of the passengers rushed off the bus, terrified that the crazy judge/driver would kill them if they stayed on. Ema also got off, thinking that she couldn't afford to keep wasting time at stops.

_For her to suddenly disappear like that... she's planning something!_

-Kay's POV-

_Hnn~ Looks like time's almost up. Well, I'd better hop into the helicopter and report the news._

Giving the rest of her popcorn to Gumshoe, the thief headed backstage to hop into the helicopter as she had done last year. However, when she got there...

_What? Where's the helicopter? I could've sworn that it was right here!_

"Woah, check it out pal! Maggey got a helicopter!"

_What! _Upon hearing this, Kay ran back to the stage to take a look at the big screen. Sure enough, there was Maggey in _her _helicopter (okay... it was technically Klavier's, but still!) and closing in fast on Ema.

"Isn't that the helicopter you used last year Kay?" Asked Edgeworth, daintily munching on some popcorn. Lang currently had his arm around the prosecutor to let Oldbag know what the situation was, and the old lady was clearly annoyed at this.

"I-I don't understand how... wait. NO WAY!" Realisation washed over Kay.  
>"What is it?"<br>"Earlier, when Maggey grabbed onto me... she must have stolen the helicopter keys! I can't believe she had the nerve to steal from the world's greatest thief!" Kay was positively fuming at the thought of someone actually stealing from her.

"Kay even if she did steal the keys from you, that doesn't explain how the actual helicopter came into her possession," stated Miles.  
>"Nothing has a rational explanation in this game, normal laws don't apply!" Kay said frantically, "However she did it, I must have my revenge! She has tarnished the Yatagarasu's name!"<p>

"But didn't Colias Palaeno steal back those coupons from you last year, young Yatagarasu? For a thief, it seems that _you're _the victim an awful lot," Shi-Long said. Kay just glared at him.

"You've kinda gotta respect Maggey though, I mean stealing something that big from right under a thief's nose... that's awesome!" Larry grinned at what had just happened. Kay just huffed. _Looks like I'll have to take the limo..._

-Normal POV-

_Where the heck did she get a helicopter from? That's not fair! _

Ema was currently running as fast as she could away from the helicopter, which Maggey was flying dangerously close to the ground. Deciding that she was close enough to be able to reach her target, Maggey left the helicopter on Auto-Pilot and jumped, landing on Ema. A mini wrestling match broke out between the two contestants over the PDA, with Maggey being the overall champion.

"Yes! Finally!" She cheered, and proceeded to slam the PDA down on the floor and... nothing happened. "What?" She asked, confused. "That should have smashed it..."

Maggey tried stomping on the PDA, chucking it against a wall, finding a bucket of water and throwing it into there. But nothing she tried would actually _break _the PDA.

"GAH! This can't be happening! I finally get my hands on this bloody PDA and it won't break! What am I doing wrong?"

Ema was giggling now, and this annoyed the other competitor to no end.  
>"What's so funny?"<br>"Oh, just the fact that you think you can actually break my PDA after I made it indestructible."  
>"You did <em>what?<em>" Maggey practically snarled.

"After last year's tournament, I realised how fragile my PDA was and so I decided to make it more durable. A few scientific calculations allowed me to come up with the perfect solution as to how to make my PDA super strong!"

Maggey just stared at the wannabe scientist in front of her, dumbfounded. "So... you're telling me that all of that... was pointless?"  
>"Scientifically speaking: yes." Ema grinned as she said this.<br>"B-But... why did you bother running then? If there was no way I could break your PDA then there was no point in that!"

"Well, you see... I didn't really want to take any chances. After all, it's only an experimental material so there was no guarantee that it could stand up to ten whole minutes of abuse," explained Ema as she picked up her unscathed PDA from the floor. "That, and the fact that I really do spend too much time in my lab at home... this is pretty much my only source of exercise," Ema laughed at this. Maggey wanted to kill her.

Before she could carry out the young girl's demise however, a limo pulled up. Out climbed a very unhappy looking Kay.

"How _dare _you steal from me! Do you _know _who I am? I am the Yatagarasu biatch! ... Ahem, sorry about that, but seriously that was so not cool!" Kay was busy glaring at Maggey, who had other things on her mind at the moment but she apologised nevertheless.

"Sorry Kay, it's just... I really wanted to pass this Lang Zi this time around."  
>"I understand," said the thief sympathetically, and she moved to hug the brunette. While she had her arms around Maggey, Kay whispered in her ear in a very threatening way, "You steal from me again, and you'll regret it!" This sent a shiver down the ex-cop's spine, but Kay pulled away with her usual cheery grin, which unnerved Maggey even more.<p>

"Well, let's head back to the Random Field. Needless to say... you're out Maggey."  
>"I know," Maggey said bitterly. <em>And I was so close this time!<em>

"Umm... Kay?" Ema's questioning voice sounded then. "What about the helicopter? I mean, scientifically speaking, it's flying itself at the moment."  
>"Oh yeah! No problem, I'll have the squad sort it out~!"<p>

No one even bothered to pass comment on what squad Kay was referring to, as the idea of her having a squad seemed pretty plausible all things considered.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 2.06pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

The contestants looked on at the screen, shocked and not shocked at the same time. They were _almost_ used to the craziness that occurred when competing in this tournament, but that wasn't to say that they were _completely_ used to it.

"This is insane," Edgeworth muttered under his breath.  
>"You're telling me!" Said Lang. "Hey Miles, do me a favour? Can you stop the old lady from throwing popcorn at me?" Lang was busy glaring at Oldbag, who was glaring straight back.<br>"WHIPPERSNAPPER! Get away from my Edgey-poo!"  
>"<em>Your <em>Edgey-poo? He's _my _Edgey-poo!"

"Lang... call me that again, and I swear to God-"  
>"Err... right. Sorry, kinda hard to think straight with <em>her <em>around," the wolf pointed to Wendy.  
>"I know, but please just bear with it. Just a few more hours of Hell and this will all over."<p>

Once Kay had returned in the limo with Maggey and Ema, she guided Maggey to the Loser's Bench and told Ema to rejoin everyone else.

"Alright, we all sorted out? Great, let's keep the ball rolling~!"

And so the second ever Lang Zi Says Tournament continues, and it was all set to get even more random!

x~x~x~x~x

**Oh. My. GOD! Why do these chase chapters always end up being so long? Phew, thank goodness it's finally done! Well I'd like to thank **_**Mr. A. Person **_**for the chase scene returning, **_**VMH **_**for the idea of Bonus Lang Zi's and **_**indus insanity **_**for the skinny dipping with Gant idea. Seriously my friend, you are almost as mad as me XD Skinny dipping with Gant? I still don't know how or why you had that idea XD I hope you all liked how I pulled off your suggestions, and of course I will work some more of my reviewers suggestions in later on so keep 'em coming~! And also, questions and such :P Well, please review because I do so love your reviews~! ^_^****  
><strong>Thank you for reading and look out for the next update :D<strong>**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	4. All Is Fair In Love And War

**Gurd morning everyone~~****  
><strong>I was just thinking that I wish Oldbag was actually real. As you may or may not know, there are <strong>_loads _**of riots happening in England at the moment, and I couldn't help thinking that an old lady like Oldbag yelling 'WHIPPERSNAPPERS' and ranting at the youths doing the rioting would be freaking epic! XD**  
><strong>So I have to tell you something cuz I find it rather amusing even if you won't :P Basically I've gotten so many suggestions from my reviewers on Lang Zi's (Thankies~ ^_^) that I was beginning to lose track, so basically I got a huge sheet of A3 paper and spider-diagramed all the suggestions all over it. It looks like some sort of professional plan for world domination, heehee~! Anywho, on with the story :D<strong>**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Four- All Is Fair In Love And War

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 2.08pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"Alright then, let's open the stage up to Franziska~!" Kay was busy pretending to be an opera star of some description, deafening most of the contestants present excluding Oldbag for she was half deaf and too busy attempting to flirt with Edgeworth, and Godot who was super-human thus nothing affected him.

Upon hearing her name being called, the young von Karma gave a twisted grin and looked at her little brother. She had concocted the most perfect Lang Zi imaginable, and with it Edgeworth would be out of the competition immediately, which would greatly increase her chances of victory. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

"This is for my fool of a kid brother, who won last year's tournament by a complete fluke! Miles Edgeworth. Lang Zi Says: Ride in an elevator."

Anyone who knew Edgeworth well enough immediately went, "Ooooohh, that's just harsh," and looked sympathetically at the silver haired one (except for Lana who mentally face-palmed for not coming up with that one herself). Lang -who was standing right next to him- noticed him tense up immediately, his usually guarded eyes widening slightly and showing only one emotion: pure fear.

The prosecuting prodigy was smirking at this moment, praising herself in her head for this absolutely perfect Lang Zi. This was her triumph; there was no way Edgeworth could do this. For you see, Franzy wasn't an idiot. She realised last year just how formidable Miles could be, and so no amount of embarrassing situations could really phase him. Hell, he _mud wrestled _and wore a _dress_ for crying out loud! So using her brilliantly perfect brain (her words, not mine) she soon figured out that the only way to break Edgeworth was not to embarrass him, but strike at his greatest weak point.

Not really paying attention to his actions, Miles sub-consciously grabbed onto Lang's sleeve in some sort of attempt to calm himself down. The wolf couldn't help but feel horribly guilty then, he knew how much his boyfriend had loathed the competition last year and yet he'd dragged him back again. Putting his arm around Miles he said in the most reassuring voice he could, "It'll be okay, you don't have to do that." He then proceeded to glare at Franziska and said venomously, "What the Hell kinda Lang Zi is that? This is low, even for you! Now take it back!" This was the only occasion on the whole day that Oldbag wasn't against Lang, for she piped up with, "WHIPPERSNAPPER! How dare you scare my darling Edgey-poo?"

The blue haired girl just stood there, looking perfectly innocent. "All he has to do is ride in an elevator, such a foolishly simple task even that idiot," she gestured to Gumshoe, "could do it."  
>Lang growled, "You know his past better than anyone! How can you do this to him?"<p>

"Don't be foolish, this is a competition after all and I intend to win."  
>As Franziska was saying this, a certain scruffy detective had made his way over to Miles and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry Mr. Edgeworth sir, I'll figure something out to get you out of it!" The magenta clad prosecutor didn't say anything; he hadn't since he heard what he had to do. He was just frozen with a look of fear fixed in place, all the awful memories of his past flooding back.<p>

Gumshoe looked up at Kay on the stage who was also showing concern for her friend, switching the Lang Zi Says theme that had been blaring out only moments ago for some devastatingly depressing violin music which really wasn't helping anything. The thief let out a sad sigh. "This game is meant to be fun, way to go for ruining it Ms. vK," she sulked. "However... I can't really object to the Lang Zi, so..." Her voice trailed off and she said quietly, "I'm sorry Mr. Edgeworth."

Finally able to make comprehensible movement and speech, Edgeworth buried his head in Lang's shoulder. Usually he was strictly against showing public displays of affection as it embarrassed him terribly, but this time he really needed some sense of security and, although it sounded terribly cheesy, he felt totally safe in the wolf's arms. After a few moments and deep breaths, he spoke weakly.

"I honestly can't do this one, so..." Pulling away from Shi-Long, Miles proceeded to head to the Loser's Bench to join Maggey, while Franziska had a triumphant look on her face. The real keen players in this tournament, so that comprised of Lana and Godot, went up to her and congratulated her on taking out one of the biggest threats. Lang looked like he wanted to murder them all. Kay frowned as she couldn't shake the feeling something was off about this. The prosecutor joined her up on the stage and took his place on the Loser's Bench, trying to put a positive spin on things, but ultimately failing: _Well at least this way I can keep the majority of my dignity in tact, after all I won last year so I don't need a win this year... although it's annoying to think that I went skinny dipping with Gant for no reason whatsoever... and now I risk being someone's slave for a day..._

There was a moment of silence as the former champion was busy being mourned for his unfair departure from the game. That is, until a certain wannabe scientist spoke up.

"Wait a minute... didn't Mr. Edgeworth get one of those, umm... is it called a Bonus Lang Zi? If I understood the correct scientific applications of it then... he doesn't need to do it and he's still in the game right?"

Everyone looked at Ema, their eyes wide.

It was at that moment, that a heavenly chorus erupted and Ema had a halo atop her head, the angel of good news. Kay nodded happily, proud that the special effects team that she had hired (well, blackmailed) were doing such an excellent job.  
>It was Gumshoe who broke the silence with, "Yeah! She's right! Way to go pal!" He had a big silly grin on his face.<br>Larry was next to speak up, giving her a big thumbs up and then smiling over at his friend. "C'mon Edgey, get back down here!"

Miles looked up, confused for a moment before he realised that he really could use that Bonus Lang Zi. Kay was grinning once more, clicking a button so that the upbeat Lang Zi Says Theme started playing once again, silencing that depressing music she had put on earlier.  
>"I totally forgot about that, sorry Mr. Edgeworth! But Ema is totally right, you can decline the Lang Zi and not have the dropping out penalty!" She rushed over to the prosecutor's side and pulled him up, guiding him back to where the other contestants were cheering (all except a certain trio... can you sense an alliance coming on or what?) and welcoming him back from his brief absence.<p>

Once Miles' feet were back on the ground, Larry practically glomped him and Oldbag quickly followed suit (despite the many unheard protests of Lang).

"Due to Ema being totally awesome and saving Mr. Edgeworth, she gets the privilege of dishing out the next Lang Zi~! Make it good Ema!" Kay was beaming brighter than the Sun, delighted that her crime-solving partner was still competing. _Although... it's kind of a shame that he had to use the Bonus Lang Zi so soon... _

Deciding that Miles had had enough trauma already what with the Gant incident and then very nearly having to face his worst fear, Ema decided that she wanted to make life easier on him by possibly eliminating one of the contestants that was making his life a hindrance at this current moment in time.

She cleared her throat. "Wendy Oldbag. Lang Zi Says: Go on a date with Larry Butz." _Now if my scientific analysis is correct, the old lady will flat out refuse and so she'll have to be out!_

Wendy did not disappoint. As soon as she heard that, she launched into one of the rants that the contestants were all to used to (and fed up with) by now.  
>"WHIPPERSNAPPER! How dare you give me such a silly Lang Zi? Do you know who I am? Honestly, the youth of today have no respect! Why this reminds me of the time when I was walking down the street, and a young man came up to me, and he had the nerve to say-"<p>

Yeah, no one wants to hear her rants all the time, so this is where all the contestants zoned out and thought about other things, apart from the Butz who was busy sweating buckets. _Go on a date with HER? You can't be serious!_

After about five minutes, when the annoying grey haired lady finally seemed to run out of oxygen thus needed to take in urgent amounts of it silencing her, Kay took over.

"Well, there you have it. Larry, Ms. Oldbag, get ready. I'll be sending you two off for a totally romantic candle-lit dinner for two~!" Kay twirled around rapidly as she said a dreamy tone of voice, "Last year Mr. Edgeworth and Wolfie, this year Larry and Ms. Oldbag~ This competition is great for finding your soul mate~!"

Now both Wendy and the Butz were no stranger to the courtroom, and upon hearing the young thief say this they both shouted unanimously, "OBJECTION!"

This stopped Kay mid twirl to look at them both before saying dreamily, "They even say things together~ They were meant to be~!"

"I refuse to do this!" Shouted Larry. "I mean c'mon, I may have just broken up with my girlfriend Stacy, but-" Larry forgot where he was going with the thought, suddenly launching himself upon Miles with tears in his eyes. "EDGEY! WHY ARE WOMEN SO CRUEL? I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL, BUT THEN SHE JUST DUMPED ME! I THOUGHT SHE WAS THE ONE EDGEY! WAAAAAHHHHH, STAAAACCCCYYYYYY!"

"Unhand me at once Larry!" Miles was doing his best to push off the overly emotional man but was failing miserably. _How can his grip possibly be this tight? I should have just stayed on the Loser's Bench out of his range._

Finally managing to unhinge the brunette off of his personage, Miles gave Larry a look that had the other laughing shakily and apologising. "Sorry Edgey, I guess I'm not as over her as I thought I was, hehe."

"Would you refrain from calling me by that infernal nickname? It is most undignified!"  
>"Aw c'mon, that's no fair. You've always been Edgey, ever since we were little. I can't stop calling you that now, just like I can't stop calling Nick, Nick."<br>"I still have no earthly idea why you started referring to Wright as Nick."  
>"It's a funny story actually. You see-"<p>

"WHIPPERSNAPPER! Have you forgotten why you were objecting? I refuse to do this Lang Zi!" Oldbag turned to face the host. "Listen to me, change that Lang Zi at once! I don't want to go on a date with an idiot like that! However..." A little, evil-esque smirk suddenly appeared on Olbag's wrinkly lips. "I would be more than happy to go on a date with a more intellectual, cultured man..." It was obvious where this was going. "I demand that this Lang Zi be changed so that I have to go on a date with my darling Edgey-poo!" The sparkles were once again attached to the old woman as she imagined going on a date with Miles.

"Sounds good to me!" Butz grinned as he thought he was off the hook, however he didn't account for the close proximity between himself and Miles to be a problem, and soon found himself being throttled by the gentleman. "Traitor!"  
>"Woah, calm down Edgey!" Larry managed to escape and put a safe distance between them. "You'd be a better match for her anyway."<p>

Wendy nodded her approval at these words. "So it's decided, I shall go on a date with Edgey-poo."  
>"Over my dead body!" Growled a certain wolf who quickly moved to Miles and put his arms around him.<br>"Out of my way, mutt! You can't fight destiny, Edgey-poo and I belong together~!"

The verbal fight that erupted between Shi-Long and Wendy soon merged with the verbal fight going on between Miles and Larry which in turn led to the involvement of Ema (who protested that her Lang Zi was for Larry and Oldbag and no one else) and Franziska (who was still mad about her Lang Zi being discarded). This then escalated further when Lana felt the need to back her sister up, before deciding that Franziska was better to have as a friend rather than an enemy in this competition and so switched onto her side partway through. Maggey was busy watching all of this and decided that she wanted in on the action, so started yelling various things from her spot on the Loser's Bench and finally Gumshoe joined in as well because he felt left out. The only one that appeared to keep their cool during this ten minutes of anarchy was Godot, who stood away from the rabble and summoned up another cup of coffee, sipping it while looking on at the chaos with an amused smile.

Deciding that it was her duty as the host to restore order to the riled up contestants, she switched the Lang Zi Says theme and started blasting out the 'Friends' theme instead, thinking that the music would soon have everyone being civil with one another. This isn't what happened actually and the fighting continued, but when it got to the chorus Ema stopped arguing and started singing, with Larry doing air guitar behind her. This rather odd sight soon diffused the mounting tension and it wasn't long before Kay could give her opinion on how they were to proceed.

"Right, let's do this democratically. Raise your hand if you wish to avoid an onslaught of rants from Ms. Olbag."  
>Everyone raised their hand, apart from Wendy who angrily mumbled something about the youth of today under her breath.<p>

"Okay, so we are decided. The Lang Zi shall be changed to Ms. Oldbag and Mr. Edgeworth going on the date, because if we try and do this any other way we'll probably end up deaf."

Larry jumped into the air and let out a triumphant cheer, and Oldbag immediately had a blush on her cheeks as she sauntered up to Miles who was busy protesting but stopped as soon as Kay pulled out a big book, threatening to throw it at him. He knew it would be that stupid rulebook, and so he resigned himself to the fact that this had to happen.

_Why am I always the target? Honestly, I'm beginning to think that I should have faced my possible demise in the elevator..._

"NOT SO FAST!" Lang was busy pointing at Kay. "Didn't you say earlier that you have 'standards' and wouldn't allow affairs to happen or something? How can you possibly allow this? If that's the case, then you should have allowed the one about Franziska going out with Larry!"

Everyone agreed that Shi-Long actually had a valid point.

Kay suddenly looked very deep in thought. Eventually, she said, "Well we are anything but hypocritical in this competition, so I agree with Wolfie. We can't allow this to happen if we can't allow the Ms. vK and Larry one to happen."  
>The wolf let out a sigh of relief, but soon tensed up when he heard, "Therefore we shall make this a double date! It probably won't mean anything, but it will keep us amused, so will the two couples please follow me."<p>

"Wait, WHAT?" Lang was desperately trying to come up with something, _anything.__  
><em>"OBJECTION!" It was Franzy, obviously. "I refuse to cheat on Adrian!"  
>Miles chimed in with, "And I wouldn't feel right going on a date with someone while I'm currently with Lang."<p>

Needless to say, Larry and Oldbag both protested against these arguments, but ultimately Kay said, "Look, this is my game and so what I say, goes. Therefore, as I know for a fact that Ms. vK would never cheat on Ms. Andrews, and Mr. Edgeworth wouldn't cheat on Wolfie, their partners have absolutely nothing to worry about. This is purely to amuse me and the other contestants!"

And with that, a crew of about seven men dressed completely in black all wearing dark sunglasses were surrounding the four people who were to partake in this double date. On Kay's order, they dragged them out of the Random Field and bundled them into the limo that the young thief had used earlier, their destination being a 'romantic candle lit dinner' despite the fact it was no where near dinner time. It was obvious that the men were the 'squad' that the Yatagarasu had referred to earlier, as when they returned they gave her the helicopter keys and said that everything was under control.

Once again, the remaining contestants watched the big screen onstage to see how this interesting turn of events would unfold.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 2.25pm-<br>-Place: Trés Bien-

The limo drew up to a restaurant that was totally pink and covered with flowers. The inside was much the same, pink being the overriding colour with flowers everywhere you turned to face. The aroma given off by all the various flowers was extremely overpowering and the four people forced to come onto this ridiculous double date soon had trouble breathing. They looked around, expecting to see a waitress or something, but no one appeared. Miles thought that he had been let off the hook and was about to turn around and make a break for it before a very extravagant voice sounded.

"Bienvenue! Welcome to my petite restrauranté!"

Everyone looked to see who had spoken, and no one was prepared for the sight that they saw. Right before their eyes, clad in pink, was a huge, muscly... thing. Even Franziska who always makes perfect judgements of people (her words, not mine) had trouble placing the gender of this... thing.

"L'amour is definitely in ze air, non?" The thing gave a wiggle and plucked a rose from a nearby vase, placing it between it's lips.

"Fool! What sort of foolish accent is that supposed to be?" The prosecuting prodigy was already in a sour mood due to being forced here, and some random human (?) of indeterminable gender was the last thing she wanted to see before her.

"Why, it iz ze Française accent, non?" Another wiggle.

"That is the worst French accent I've ever heard in my life, it is utterly foolish!"

This seemed to upset the thing, because it suddenly had huge tears in it's eyes, clutching the rose dramatically as it said, "Honnêtement, what am j'ai to do? Zat was just mean, just because j'ai parler in crappy Google-translated Française doesn't mean you 'ave to be cruel!"

"Hahahahaha! Edgey, is this person hilarious or what? That accent! Hahahahaha!" The Butz was finding this human very amusing indeed as he was currently doubled up and having trouble being able to breath because he was laughing so much.  
>"Larry, have some respect!" Miles elbowed his childhood friend, and tried to calm the thing down. "I'm sorry, please ignore Franziska. She didn't mean it. I'm Miles Edgeworth." The silver haired one extended a hand, hoping to hear the chef's name (it was clear it was the chef by the pink chef's hat atop the flowing hair) and be able to determine the gender of it.<p>

"Oui oui, j'ai am just zo fragile! Like une petite chulip. J'ai am Jean Armstrong, mon cher."

_Jean... of course it would have a name applicable to both genders. _Deciding to take a wild stab in the dark, Miles said, "It's a pleasure to meet you... Mister Armstrong?"

A smile appeared and Armstrong nodded, so the group assumed that this meant it's gender was male.

"I got ze call from ze Yatagarasu, non? I 'ear zis iz la double date! Well it iz certainement romantique 'ear! Please follow moi." Jean led the four of them to a booth (which really did have candles on it), gave them menus while telling them to order anything because it had all been paid for, placed some glasses of water on the table and then left them alone to decide what they wanted.

"This is utterly foolish!" Franzy was seething as she perused the menu, whipping Larry when he attempted to put his arm around her. As Miles was a gentlemen, he refused to hit Oldbag when she tried something similar and so it came to pass that Oldbag was practically sat on his lap in a matter of seconds, cuddling up to her beloved Edgey-poo. There was no doubt in Edgeworth's mind at this point: _I definitely would have preferred the elevator after all!_

"Sooo..." The Butz was busy trying to come up with a suitable topic of conversation for his 'date.' Finally coming up with something, he said is his 'playa voice', "You know, you're totally dating a celebrity!"  
>Franziska looked at the brunette sceptically. "What are you foolishly going on about?"<br>"You're looking at the one and only Steel Samurai baby!" Larry had a huge grin on his face, which was quickly whipped away because Franzy hates to be called 'baby' and said that he was lying.  
>"I really am the Steel Samurai though!" One would never think that Larry was a grown man the way he was moaning like a little child. "Tell her Edgey!"<p>

Meanwhile, 'Edgey' had other things on his mind than trying to prove his friend right. He was tense enough as it was with the old lady sat on him, but when she started making kissy faces he had to concentrate wholly on avoiding those lips as best as he could.  
>"Edgey-poo~" she cooed, "Treat a lady special, give your date a kiss~!"<p>

Somewhere in the distance, you could hear Lang screaming.

"N-no! I refuse!" Miles let chivalry go as he panicked at the thought of having to kiss Wendy. The old lady looked hurt at those words, and so Miles managed to save himself by saying, "Well... you see this is our first date. And a gentleman would never dream of stealing a kiss on the first date."  
>The old bat smiled at this, the sparkles returning as she said, "Ohhh, Edgey-poo~ You do know how to treat a lady so well~ But..." The sparkles remained but a small smirk graced her features as she proceeded to say, "If it's you darling, then I'll let you do <em>much<em> more than kiss me on a first date~"

Unfortunately, Miles had decided to take a drink at that precise moment in time. Spraying water all over Franziska, Edgeworth was torn between trying to save himself from a horny old lady or his demonic sister.  
>He managed to splutter out, "The code of chivalry would prevent me from doing that!" in response to Wendy and just about managed to dodge a vicious lash from the blue haired girl opposite from him while still being pestered by Larry for him to admit that he really was the Steel Samurai.<p>

Getting even tenser, Miles said in a threatening voice, "I will _never _acknowledge you as the Steel Samurai!"  
>"What? EDGEY WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?"<p>

Miles just ignored Larry as he threw a tantrum, still trying to avoid being kissed by Oldbag.  
>"This whole fiasco is utterly foolish!" The young von Karma folded her arms indignantly, not pleased at all with this current situation.<p>

"Are you all ready for moi to take ze orderz?" Armstrong had returned, choosing a pretty good time to step in because the madness at the table stopped as they were about to give their respective orders. However, when they looked at the man in front of them, they noticed that his attire had changed. Miles blushed insanely as he remembered all to clearly having to wear the exact same orange maids outfit last year.

"What sort of foolishness is this? Where is the actual waitress?"  
>"Mon cher," began Jean but Franziska shot him a look that said, 'call me your dear again and I will annihilate you.' The chef turned waitress continued, "Money 'as been zo tight recently, zo j'ai am alzo la waitress, non?"<p>

Larry was once again laughing, and Franziska had a suddenly amused smile as she looked over to Miles and said, "In all honesty, I think you suit the uniform better. How about you take our orders, little brother?" Edgeworth shot her a death glare, but Franzy just chuckled, unfazed by it.

Once the orders had been placed and Armstrong strutted off, the insanity at the table continued.

"I really think that we've connected on this date, we should do it again sometime." Larry was smiling at Franziska, who just glared at him.  
>"You are even more foolish than I thought! Once this Lang Zi is over, I am taking a restraining order out against you!"<br>"Aw, you don't mean that! Look how well we're getting on! I promise that I'd be the best boyfriend ever!"  
>The blue haired one looked at him with disbelief. "Are you honestly that much of a foolish retard? I'm in a relationship!"<br>"I know, but you can always tell your partner that you just couldn't stop your feelings of love for me and-" The Butz was silenced as more lashes of his 'date's' whip attacked him.  
>"I'm a lesbian," she hissed, "you have absolutely nothing to interest or offer me!"<p>

As he was bordering on consciousness at this point, the brunette didn't say anything to this. Oldbag on the other hand, was very vocal all of a sudden.  
>"WHIPPERSNAPPER! You're one of <em>them<em>!" The others needn't have asked what one of 'them' was as she proceeded to say, "How can you defy the natural order? Men and women should be together, anything else just isn't right! I tell you, it's the media of today, corrupting the minds of the youth! It's just like the time where-"

After a two minute rant, Wendy finally stopped and glared at Franziska, branding her as 'heathen.' Larry looked at the old lady in confusion as he said, "So how come you're so fond of Edgey if you hate gays?"  
>An absolutely horrified look crossed Wendy's face as she exclaimed, "WHIPPERSNAPPER! What do <em>those <em>people have to do with my darling Edgey-poo?"

Before Larry could answer, Jean returned with their food. Thankful for the distraction, Miles urged everyone to just eat so this whole thing could be over.

In actuality, the whole thing was over much more quickly than anyone had ever imagined, because one bite of the food had them all gagging before running out of the perfectly pink restaurant.

"That was the worst food I've ever tasted!" Exclaimed an annoyed Franzy, getting into the limo first.  
>Larry was the next one into the limo, snivelling like a baby while saying, "The taste! IT WON'T GO AWAY! I think I might be dying!"<br>"Don't be such a baby Larry," sighed Miles as he also made his way into the vehicle, doing his best to block out the terrible taste that was invading his taste buds.  
>"That French Whippersnapper! This is an outrage! He ruined my date with my darling Edgey-poo!"<p>

On the way back to the Random Field, once the contestants had finally rid themselves of the horrid taste of the food they had just ingested, Oldbag seemed to remember something.  
>"You, whippersnapper!" She pointed to Larry, who nodded nervously. "What do the people who go against the natural order have to do with my beloved Edgey-poo?"<br>"Isn't it obvious? After all, he's going out with that wolf agent guy so that means-"

The Butz never got a chance to finish his sentence, as the realisation was too much for the old lady. She thought that Lang was just an over-protective friend, but it turns out that he... and her Edgey-poo... they were...

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 2.50pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

As the limo pulled up to the Random Field and the contestants made their way over to the others, Kay couldn't help but giggle as she said, "I totally knew that would be entertaining~!"  
>Everyone (except a certain Interpol agent) agreed and laughed as they recounted what they had just seen. However, this light-hearted atmosphere didn't last for too long, as a high pitch voice exploded shrieking, "WHERE IS THAT WOLFIE WHIPPERSNAPPER?"<p>

Shi-Long looked up curiously from where he had been making his way to hug Miles. The old lady was glaring at him with all the hatred in the world.

"You!" She exclaimed. "How _dare _you corrupt my darling Edgey-poo? You will pay for this!" She looked over at Kay and barked, "I'm taking the next Lang Zi!" The young thief merely nodded, all too willing to give her what she wanted because she wanted to avoid another rant, and because it looked like this could be interesting.

"Shi-Long Lang! Lang Zi Says: Fight me for the possession of Edgey-poo!"

Needless to say, the WTF faces were on everyone upon hearing this.

"Heh, you can't be serious! I can't fight an old lady, no matter how annoying you are."  
>"WHIPPERSNAPPER! I demand that you take me seriously! I will save Edgey-poo from the life of sin you've forced him into!"<br>"Woah! I didn't force him into anyth-"  
>"SILENCE! I challenge you to a duel!"<p>

The wolf looked at her, not knowing how he should react to this. "A duel?"  
>"Yes! Edgey-poo is the fair maiden, and whoever wins the duel between us gets possession of the maiden!"<br>"I am not a maiden!" Miles felt it prudent to interject at this point. "Look, this whole idea is ridiculous."  
>"Don't worry Edgey-poo! I can see that this fiend has brainwashed you, but I will make you see the light soon enough!"<p>

Lang just looked at Wendy as he said, "When you say 'duel', do you mean the whole armour and horses thing?"  
>"Of course I do whippersnapper! In my day, this was how all disputes were settled!"<br>"Holy crap! Just how old are you?" The agent couldn't hide his utter amazement. His question was met with a deafening screeching as Oldbag said, "How rude! A gentlemen should never ask a lady her age!"  
><em>Lady isn't the word to describe you... I'm leaning more towards dinosaur. <em>However, Shi-Long never voiced this as he knew that Olbag was raring to go on yet another rant.

The two of them entered a very heated staring match until Kay interrupted with, "Alright then! Looks like we've got a duel on our hands! Ms. Oldbag and Wolfie will battle it out for the love of Mr. Edgeworth!"

Miles looked at his assistant with an exasperated expression. "Kay, you can't seriously tell me that you've got medieval armour, horses and all the equipment necessary for a duel."  
>"Once again you underestimate my brilliance! Of course I do! Alright, let's get this thing set up!"<p>

And so it came to pass that a duel would be fought in the next Lang Zi. The tournament that was weird to begin with just got even weirder!

x~x~x~x~x

**Hehe, writing the duel is gonna be awesome! Alright, so thankies for M-chan for the Edgey/Oldbag date and VMH for suggesting a Larry/Oldbag date. indus insanity gets a thanks for the inclusion of the Steel Samurai, and I also intend to use the SS again in later chappys :) Then of course there's Haruka The-Dark-Angel for the fight that's gonna take place between Oldbag and Lang. I all hope you all like how I pulled off these suggestions~**  
><strong>Thank you so much for reading, and please review cuz the more reviews I get the sooner you're gonna get to know what happened in the epic duel between Oldbag and Lang~ :D<strong>

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	5. To Win The Maiden's Heart

**Ohayo~~! ^_^****  
><strong>Why hello there dear readers, I am in an especially good mood because... *cue drum-roll and suspense music* It is my birthday tomorrow~~! :D So may I pwetty pwease make a request? :3 Please send me a review when you've read this chappy, it would be a totally awesome bday prezzie ^.^ It doesn't need to be fancy or anything, even one random word would suffice XD I just love hearing from you guys, it gives my life a purpose *dramatic pose*<strong>  
><strong>Anywho, I'll shut up now :P Let's get this duel going!<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: Despite it being my bday, Capcom refused to give me control of Ace Attorney... wah :(<strong>  
><strong>Contains: The general nonsense and some shounen-aiyaoi towards the end ;)****

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Five- To Win The Maiden's Heart

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 2.55pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

While the contestants were busy talking with excitement in anticipation for the duel that was to take place, Kay took Edgeworth backstage for some unknown reason. While everyone seemed content to just hang about for a while, Franziska motioned to Godot and Lana to join her in a remote area of the Random Field so that she could discuss something with them.

Once the three of them were together and away from the main group, Franziska spoke.  
>"I think it is blatantly obvious that those fools are no match for any of us," the young prosecutor said, motioning to the rest of the competitors. The other two nodded with interest. The blue haired woman cleared her throat and continued. "That being said, although I hate to admit it... My foolish younger brother and his foolish boyfriend both pose a threat to us. They are very good competitors, and so I think that it would be best if we... form a little deal."<p>

Lana raised an eyebrow upon hearing this. "So basically what you're saying is... you wish to form some type of alliance?"  
>Franzy nodded, and Lana grinned. "I think this could be very interesting indeed."<br>While the two females voiced their ideas, Godot suddenly spoke. "I feel," he said dramatically, his velvet voice having an immediate soothing effect, "That we would indeed be stronger united. After all, a single coffee bean cannot provide adequate flavour to a quantity of water needed to quench one's thirst."

The other two looked at him quizzically before he sighed and said, "That means I'm in."  
>They both smiled. "Excellent," Lana beamed.<br>"You've made a wise choice," agreed Franziska.  
>"Well, I think it's obvious what our alliance has to do now," Lana said, suddenly serious.<br>"Of course, we must come up with an epic team name," Diego said coolly, sipping coffee from his mug.  
>"Actually, I was referring to sabotaging Agent Lang in this upcoming duel," the elder Skye corrected, "But a team name would be pretty cool."<p>

Although Franziska called them fools for wanting to name their alliance, she sighed as it was two against one and so conceded that they could come up with a name before ruining Lang's attempts in the duel.

A lot of names were experimented with, and here are a few of the suggestions they came up with:

Franziska: Team Perfection, Franziska's Slaves, Whiplash  
>Lana: Divine Justice, Red Scarf Annihilation<br>Godot: Espresso, Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha etc.

Eventually they decided on the team name: A.W.E.S.O.M.E, which stood for;

**A**lliance  
><strong>W<strong>ill  
><strong>E<strong>asily  
><strong>S<strong>quash  
><strong>O<strong>thers  
><strong>M<strong>ocha  
><strong>E<strong>spresso

Godot insisted on the last two and threatened to tell everyone about the alliance if he didn't get his way. Franziska was furious as she wanted: Alliance Will Easily Squash Others Most Epically, but Godot was determined and so they were stuck with the coffee names. Once the alliance was properly formed and the name had been decided, it was time for them to come up with a way in which they could get rid of a potentially strong competitor: Shi-Long Lang.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 3.05pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"Alriiiiiight~~! This is gonna be totally sweet!" Descending from up above wearing a harness, Kay beamed as the other contestants stood with their mouths open. However, they didn't question anything, because they had learned by now that the young thief had a dark side that was best not to expose. "We have an actual full on duel!" she squealed delightedly, "And it is a duel for the heart of Mr. Edgeworth~!" As she reached the stage, Kay undid her harness and began to run around in circles as she sang, "Today we will see who's love is more true: Wolfie's or Ms. Oldbag's~! Who will win Mr. Edgeworth's heart? Let's find out, bring forth the competitors~!"

From behind the stage, the two duellers appeared. Lang was atop a beautiful black horse with a luscious mane. He emerged form the right side of the stage, riding the horse and clad in black armor. Approaching from the left side of the stage was Oldbag, clad in silver armor and sat on a white horse that was just as devastatingly beautiful as the one Lang was on.

The two of them directed their horses to a duelling arena that Kay had managed to poof up courtesy of Mr. Galactica, and stood facing each other. While they were getting ready, the two of them had chosen the weapon that they wished to wield. Much to the agent's disappointment, there were no guns. Instead, he found himself opting for a pretty cool looking sword. When Wendy had made her decision with the intention of ridding the world of Lang, thus 'saving her darling Edgey-poo from sin,' she didn't hold back and so chose a mace.

"Well this looks like it will be interesting!" Kay had a huge smile on her face as she went on to say, "And don't worry, I have a team of highly skilled paramedics on standby ~!"

Lang growled inside of his armour, "Damn this is heavy! And what are you on about? You wouldn't actually let us get hurt would you?"  
>Kay just shrugged at him, before a loud, "WHIPPERSNAPPERS!" caught everyone's attention. The contestants groaned as they realised the armour Oldbag was wearing seemed to make her voice echo louder than it had done previously, and so most of them covered their ears. "I intend to win this fight, mutt!" she shrieked, "So get away from my beloved Edgey-poo already!"<br>Shi-Long just growled some more, "How can you claim him as yours? He doesn't even like you! Besides, Miles belongs to me!"

They carried on in this childish fashion before a trumpet sounded, and Kay stood there with a stupid grin as she finished her little tune on the trumpet that she had gotten from God knows where. "Well then, we've prolonged this enough. It is time to bring out the maiden~!"

She gestured to her left, indicating that she wanted everyone to look there. The contestants fell silent as they waited for Miles to appear before them, and eventually they could hear him complaining.

"I _refuse_ to go out in this! Unhand me this instant! I mean it, I will send you to your demise in court, don't think that I won't! I said LET GO!"

He sounded extremely distressed, and the reason for this became apparent when some of the squad members from earlier dragged the poor prosecutor out onto the stage. When Kay had taken him backstage earlier, she and her squad had jumped him so that he was now wearing a frilly pink dress which seemed to make his silver locks shine vibrantly.

"You look just like a princess Mr. Edgeworth," Kay giggled.

Miles just gave her his infamous death glare. _This is so humiliating! Why do I have to wear this anyway? I shall have my revenge!_

As the silver haired one thought these angry thoughts, Kay began to sound like a fashion commentator as she said, "Today Mr. Edgeworth is modelling a most extravagant dress form some Italian designer I can't pronounce. Look at how this dress hangs elegantly off the shoulder, most stylish nowadays~! And what about all those cute little diamanté's that are studded throughout the whole dress? Aren't they just the best? I also think that the long, elegant flow and frills on the dress give it that fairytale epicness~!"

Despite the death glare, Miles noticed everyone looking at him and so began to blush slightly.

"This is our maiden~!"  
>Upon hearing this, Miles protested bitterly, "I am not a maiden!"<br>"Yes you are Mr. Edgeworth," the young girl said resolutely.

Kay gave the order for the squad members to escort the 'maiden' to his seat where he was to watch the duel.

"You look wonderful~!" Oldbag called from her horse.

_Oh dear God! I want to die..._

Miles waited to hear Lang say a cocky comment or something similar, but when he didn't hear anything he blushed even more. _I just know he's thinking something perverted right about now..._

Being the amazing prosecutor that he was, he wasn't wrong. Lang was thankful for the armour helmet that covered his face, because he currently had a predatory look as he gazed at his boyfriend lustily. _He looks even better in this than he did in the maid's outfit, and he looked amazing in that!_ _Damn this armour! If I could move freely then I would definitely-_

"So here's how this will work." Kay pulled Lang out of his fantasies as she began to give the rules. "We have the dashing Dark Knight," she motioned to Lang, "And the valiant White Knight," she indicated to Oldbag. "Both of them hold deep affections for our maiden~!" She drew attention to Edgeworth who was busy seething in the stupid dress, and was busy planning a way to get out of it as quickly as possible before Lang got the armour off: _Because otherwise, I would definitely NOT be safe..._

"So, the question is: who will win the maiden's heart?"  
>Miles sighed and he thought, <em>the fact that I'm going out with Lang must make it obvious who my heart belongs to. <em>However he didn't say this because it was embarrassing and Kay wouldn't listen to him anyway.

"Our Knight's have chosen their preferred weapon and are ready to do battle! First one to either fall off their horse or surrender will lose the duel and will be out of the competition, while the other will have the honour of winning the maiden! Everyone clear on the rules? Alright, then begin~!" She blew the trumpet again, and then looked to the battlefield with interest.

"Prepare to lose mutt!" Oldbag called confidently, before switching to a swooning voice to say, "It won't be much longer Edgey-poo~! Don't worry!"  
>Determined to keep the old lady away from Miles to try and make up for dragging him here in the first place, Lang was determined not to lose. <em>My pride won't allow me to lose this battle! I love Miles, and I will fight for him! After all, Lang Zi Says: A wolf driven by love cannot be anything but victorious! <em>Shi-Long had a determined grin on his face as he thought this, before his mind wandered slightly and he thought, _Besides, if I win this like a true hero, maybe Miles will wear that dress for me tonight..._

The contestants looked on with confusion as they saw Wendy charging towards Lang, who appeared to not be making any attempts whatsoever at moving (due to his overly active imagination). It was only when he heard Wendy letting a loud battle cry rip that the wolf was pulled back into reality. Eyes widening at the speed with which the old lady was closing the distance between them, Lang set to work. He brandished his sword and waited until the last possible minute before manoeuvring his horse out of her path.

She let out a displeased grunt as she said, "I will not miss again!" in a threatening way, pulling out the mace and swinging it above her head.

Everyone was looking on eagerly to see what would happen. Well, everyone but Miles, who was currently trying to work out the number of criminal offences that had already been committed that day. As it turned out, Wendy appeared to be dominating the duel, and was busy chasing Shi-Long all around the battlefield.

"Stop running away you cowardly whippersnapper!" she commanded angrily.  
><em>Damn, she really has done this before! <em>Lang thought as he just about managed to dodge the mace she swung at him. _This isn't good! My skills are in hand-to-hand combat and guns, I don't know how I can win this!_

As if on cue to make matters worse, the wolf suddenly heard a tearing sound. He didn't want to look to see what had happened, but he knew that he had to. Glancing down hesitantly, his mouth dropped open as he saw that the saddle straps had all torn. He began to slip atop of the horse and very nearly fell off.

To the side of the crowd, team A.W.E.S.O.M.E discretely high-fived each other and smirked as they watched Lang desperately trying to hold on to the reigns as the saddle fell off completely. Miles, who had been previously uninterested in this ridiculous Lang Zi, looked up when he heard his wolf let out a panicked howl. Horror filled him as he saw Lang hanging onto the side of the horse precariously. He stood up and ran to Kay, nearly tripping over his dress in the process.

"Kay! Do something! He could be badly hurt!"  
>The raven haired girl pursed her lips as she saw the Interpol Agent struggling to hold on. She briefly considered calling the duel off, but then that would go against the whole nature of this game. In the end, she pretended that she didn't hear Edgeworth and continued to watch the duel.<p>

_I've got you now! _Oldbag thought triumphantly when she saw her rival in a situation that could potentially end in his peril. She swung the mace over her head once again and charged towards him.

Lang saw her coming at him at an impressive speed, and closed his eyes in anticipation for the end. _Damn... I can't believe it's gonna end like this!_

Suddenly, Shi-Long was pulled out of his negative thinking when he heard Miles call out to him. "Lang! Hey, come on! You can do this, you have to beat her! You know that I always tell you off for spending way too much time in the gym, so show me that you weren't wasting your time there and pull yourself back onto that horse!"

The wolf's eyes widened, he never expected to hear that much encouragement from Miles.

"I won't forgive you if you get hurt!" he called, a slight edge of worry to his tone.

Lang smiled, _He really cares about me... well I can't let him down!_

Summoning up strength from within, Lang managed to angle himself in such a way that he could swing himself back up onto the horse and only just managed to escape the rampaging old lady. Oldbag straightened herself up again, getting ready for another charge, and Lang did the same. Within a matter of seconds, the two were hurtling towards each other.

Franzy, Lana and Godot were busy watching in disbelief. Their perfect pan had failed! The young prosecutor glared at the duel going on in front of her. _He's more resilient than I first thought._

As the two duellers drew closer to each other, some of the spectators had to turn away for fear of the violent collision that was likely to occur. Lang had his usual confident grin as he yelled, "This is for my princess!"

He chuckled as he heard Miles instantly begin to protest and shout at him.

_This is it, _Shi-Long and Wendy both thought at the same time, when they were about five meters apart. Olbag's strategy consisted of her landing a critical hit on the wolf with her mace, knocking him off so that she would be the winner. Lang's strategy was a little more complex, and much more risky. _If this goes wrong, then I'm out, _he thought, before dispelling his doubt by thinking, _but sometimes you've just gotta take a risk. This duel is mine!_

Their inevitable collision and the subsequent events that followed all happened so fast, that no one could properly see just what had happened.  
>After a brief moment, an angry shriek sounded and the contestants saw that Wendy was on the ground, shouting any and all criticisms about everything that you could criticise. Then came Lang's victory cry of, "Hell yeah! That's how it's done!" But the remarkable thing was that, he was on Oldbag's horse.<p>

Kay immediately ran to her big screen and pressed a couple of buttons. "Let's watch that in slow motion, it was too quick so I missed it!" The contestants looked at the screen as Lang and Oldbag were heading towards each other. They were amazed when they saw Shi-Long reach his hand out when they were extremely close to each other and grab onto Wendey's arm which was swinging the mace. He managed to grab a hold of it, and chucked it away. Then, he launched himself off of his own horse just before they collided and while in the air, he somehow managed to pull Oldbag off of her horse and then land neatly on it.

There was silence as everyone donned the WTF faces for the umpteenth time that day.

"How the Hell did he manage to pull that off?" It was Larry who asked the question everyone was thinking, to which he got the reply, "Cuz I am just _that _good."

Lang had gotten off the horse and made his way over to everyone. As he had removed his helmet, he grinned and winked at all the stunned faces he was receiving.

"That was... so freaking cool Wolfie~!" Kay rushed over to him and looked at him as if he were a celebrity. "That was just amazing! You were like a ninja or something!" Soon everyone was complimenting the wolf and he grinned proudly. Once the attention had died down slightly, Lang noticed that someone was absent...

Excusing himself for a moment, the agent headed backstage as he had a feeling that was where this person would be. It was a smart move on his part, because the other's were left with the task of retrieving Oldbag and calming her down enough to get her on the Loser's Bench quietly (which was not an easy feat at all).

"Hey."

Miles jumped when he heard Lang's voice. He quickly turned around, making sure that he looked cool and composed. "I guess I should say 'My Hero,'" he said sarcastically, but he had a playful smirk on his face.

"Heh, if ya want," replied the wolf. He looked Miles up and down. "I thought you'd have changed out of that dress by now," he observed.  
>Edgeworth let out a frustrated sigh. "That is indeed what I've been attempting to do but... It's harder than it initially seems to escape the confines of this blasted garment."<p>

Lang was suddenly struck by an idea, and looked at his boyfriend in a way that caused Miles to blush. He took a step forward as the other took a step back.  
>"I swear to God, if you try anything here Lang," Miles warned, attempting to keep a steady glare on the wolf.<br>Said wolf just chuckled slightly. "I wouldn't dream of it, I am merely gonna help you out..."  
>Miles narrowed his eyes. "Just what are you suggesting?"<br>"You said that you couldn't get out of the dress right? Well, I'll _help _you out of it." Lang grinned as the silver haired one's eyes widened.

_I don't like the way he said 'help,' _Miles thought. _Helping me is the last thing on his mind!_

When the prosecutor found that he could no longer move backwards due to him reaching a wall, Lang finally caught up.  
>"The dress suits you, ya know," he breathed hotly.<br>Miles looked down, "It looks awful."  
>"I mean it," the wolf insisted. "You really hate it that much?"<br>Edgeworth nodded, but then blushed as he realised that he had just walked straight into Lang's trap.  
>Shi-Long grinned as he said, "Don't worry, I'll have you out of it in no time."<p>

And with that, Lang closed the difference between his and his boyfriend's lips, kissing him passionately.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 3.25pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"I refuse to go! Let me go! Whippersnappers! None of you have any respect! Why it's just like the time-"

"Ms. Oldbag, please be quiet," Kay moaned as she guided the fuming old woman to the Loser's Bench. Maggey scooted as far away from her as possible, mentally groaning at the idea of having to spend the rest of the day near Wendy.  
>The Yatagarasu briefly considered putting tape over Oldbag's mouth, but ultimately decided against it.<p>

Once the old lady finally seemed to be in submission and was sat mumbling angrily to herself quietly on the Loser's Bench, Kay composed herself and began to launch back into her role of host.

"Well there you have it ladies and gentleman~! The epic battle for the affection of Mr. Edgeworth has been concluded, with Wolfie coming out on top! Now the only question is, what will the next Lang Zi be? Let's see who should give the next-" but she stopped abruptly when she realised the absence of two players.

"Hey, has anyone seen My. Edgeworth and Wolfie?" Kay asked, scanning the Random Field. Everyone else did the same, but they couldn't be found at all. "Hmm... I guess we'll have to take a short break until they show up or something..." Kay said, trying to puzzle out where the two of them could possibly be.

"As they have just participated in Lang Zi's, I doubt that they will be targeted this time around," Lana reasoned, "So why not just continue without them for this next Lang Zi?" _At least we should be able to eliminate some more of the competition, _she thought to herself, before whispering this to her allies. They both nodded in agreement and so Kay eventually gave the go ahead for the next Lang Zi.

"But if they're still missing by the end of this next Lang Zi then we're gonna go search for them okay? I'm not quite sure how I'd deal with a missing persons charge... Anyways, let's carry on for now~!"

And so the Lang Zi Says Tournament continued, despite the fact that two of the contestants were mysteriously missing...

x~x~x~x~x

**Before you say it, I know: a bit of a shounen-ai overload XD But hey, it's my bday so Imma spoil myself :P Also, I've just finished writing an M fic for another fandom, so perhaps I was still in a slightly M-ish mood? You should be thankful I didn't continue it XP ... *contemplates writing it for the lolz*****  
><strong>Anywho, as I previously mentioned we have Haruka The-Dark-Angel to thank for our LangWendy duel :) Did you guys love it? Hate it? Indifferent? And what does team A.W.E.S.O.M.E have in store for their fellow competitors? The tournament certainly doesn't show any signs of slowing down any time soon! :P**  
><strong>Anyways, please review dear readers, it doesn't take that long and you will really make me happy :) And don't forget to leave questions for me andor the characters :D *puppy dog eyes* Pwease, it is my birthday :3****

**Well, as always thank you for choosing to read my fic~ And look out for the next update~ :D**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	6. Gotta Sing 'Em All!

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and birthday wishes, they totally made my day~! ^_^ You guys are the best! :D****  
><strong>Soooo... you know how I mentioned I was in kind of an M-ish mood last time, and thought about writing a continuation of what happened backstage 'for the lolz'? Well, funny story... I actually wrote it "n.n Ended up with about six pages worth of smut XD Ah well, I probably won't publish it as it was just me having fun, although if you want me to then I'll post it as a separate story (I doubt that'll happen, for some reason M fics for those two aren't that popular... maybe I should publish it after all and get them support or something...?) Ah well, enough about my dirty mind, let's carry on with the tourney~ ^.^<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: Capcom owns the characters and I own none of the songs in here whatsoever and also pokémon belongs to Nintendo :P<strong>  
><strong>Warning: Contains some certain bad words in one of the songs "n.n<strong>**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Six- Gotta Sing 'Em All!

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 3.28pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"This is an absolute outrage!" Franziska hissed to her new team mates. "How did we possibly fail? Who knows when that mutt will get another Lang Zi, we had to get him out then!"  
>Lana nodded in agreement, a slight look of annoyance crossing her face because the two contestants that were of any serious threat were currently missing.<br>"Well then," Godot said calmly, "We shall just have to get rid of a few worthless coffee beans from this deluxe blend we are brewing."

Not in the mood to try and decrypt what that meant, Franziska snapped, "Why don't you just speak English?"  
>Godot simply ignored her and summoned up another cup of coffee from nowhere, while Lana said, "I think he means that we should just get rid of some useless people."<br>The eccentric prosecutor nodded as he sipped at the bitter liquid contained within the mug, while Franzy thought it through and agreed.

"So, who should we target?" the district prosecutor asked.  
>"That infuriatingly foolish character known as Larry Butz," Franziska growled.<p>

However, before she could claim the next Lang Zi, Kay chimed in with, "I wanna make someone do something next~!"  
>Thus the secret team A.W.E.S.O.M.E meeting was forced to end prematurely, and they found that they were powerless as they did not have the authority to issue a Lang Zi.<p>

"Okay, I think this'll be totally awesome!" Kay said happily while she ran up to a random button that had just poofed up onto the stage. Before she pushed it, she asked the contestants this question: "This thing requires two people so who should do it?"  
>"LARRY BUTZ!" Franziska and Lana chorused, while Godot just shook his head and thought, <em>They aren't exactly subtle are they?<em>

"Oki doki~" she sang gleefully and gestured for Larry to go stand apart from everyone. "And I think I want Gummy to do this as well cuz he should be good and he hasn't done anything yet~"

When Gumshoe and Butz were in position, Kay momentarily left the mysterious button alone and hopped off of the stage in order to join the two men. As she spoke, she rustled around in her hip bag in order to produce Little Thief, "Okay then. Basically, I wanna see a real live pokémon battle! Little Thief has the ability to recreate not only crime scenes, but games as well! So basically, you choose your pokémon and battle it out to the end! And I also have a special surprise..."

Franziska let out a low growl, she knew absolutely nothing about pokémon and so didn't even know where to begin trying to sabotage the Butz. Lana was also looking irritated, because she was exactly the same. As they didn't know how to make the Lang Zi go in their favour, the two team A.W.E.S.O.M.E women opted for glaring at anything and everything to express their anger. As always, Godot just stood there looking cool and taking nonchalant sips of his coffee, occasionally touching something at the side of his visor.

"A pokémon battle? That's awesome pal!" Gumshoe had a big grin on his face as he thought about how this was _his _Lang Zi.  
>Kay beamed back at her detective friend. "I thought you'd like this one."<br>What no one expected at this time was for Butz to yell in delight, "ALRIGHT! I am a pokémon MASTER! This is gonna be so cool!" He gave Kay his usual big smile and thumbs up, while the thief just looked at the brunette with slight surprise before smiling back.  
>"I had no idea you were into pokémon! This is so cool! You should totally join me and Gummy, every Thursday is pokémon night~!"<br>"I'm so totally there!" he said, ecstatic that this was the Lang Zi he had been given. He turned to the blue haired prosecutor (who was standing to the side with her new team mates) and winked as he said, "You're totally going to fall for me now Franzy! My pokémon skills are the best, you'll definitely be impressed!"

Franziska simply gave him a lash of her whip for 'calling her by that utterly foolish nickname' and angrily muttered something along the lines of, "Foolish fools occupying their time with foolish pastimes. So foolish..."

Despite the whip attack he had just received, Larry still smiled. He only stopped the smiling and started pouting when he thought of something. "Hey, this is so unfair!" he moaned suddenly. "Why isn't Edgey here? He always says that I'm useless, but once he sees my pokémon skills he'll have to apologise for being such a meanie!"  
>This got everyone's minds back to wondering just where Miles and Shi-Long had gone and disappeared to. Just when it appeared that the Butz was going to go on some sort of heroic solo rescue mission for the two men, Kay tried to shift focus back to the Lang Zi that she had issued, because she really wanted to see a live pokémon battle and she didn't want people becoming worried and perhaps, say, telling some sort of authority that two people had mysteriously gone missing on her watch. She already had the restraining order from Thalassa and the court case with the Gavinners on her record, as well as numerous accounts of petty thieving due to the 'stupid laws' (her words, not mine) that seemed to govern this country. Throw in the fact that quite a few of the contestants were involved in the law, the Yatagarasu knew that this could all end up in tears.<p>

_And so the only thing I can do is distract them and hope that Mr. Edgeworth and Wolfie come back soon from wherever they are..._

"Oki doki~ Seeing as both contestants have a thorough understanding of the game and have game data, I'll just input that data into Little Thief. From there, choose three of your pokémon and battle it out~!"

Kay started pressing all mannor of complex looking gizmos and do-hickeys on Little Thief, and eventually Larry and Gumshoe found themselves on a battle field, the kind that you have a pokémon battle on.

Kay smiled to herself happily and praised herself for being such a genius, before Lana said, "Didn't you say you had a surprise?"  
>The young thief paused for a moment as if deep in thought, trying to figure out what the district prosecutor was referring to. Finally remembering and letting out a grand, "Aha!" Kay nimbly jumped back onto the stage and up to the mysterious button she had poofed up earlier.<p>

"Are both contestants ready? Do you know which pokémon you wish to use?"  
>The two men nodded from the Random Field turned pokémon battle arena.<br>"Okay, please tell me who you are using~!"

Kay had somehow managed to hook the big screen T.V up to the data that Little Thief had, because when the contestants announced their chosen pocket monsters, their level and stats showed up (as well as a picture so those who were less educated on the game would at least know what to expect).

"Okay pal! I'll use my Pikachu, Blaziken and Flygon!" Gumshoe said happily. The main levels of his pokémon were:

Pikachu- lvl. 86  
>Blaziken- lvl. 92<br>Flygon- lvl. 88

Kay pouted as she remembered how her team had been obliterated by this particular trio last Thursday, and looked at Larry sympathetically. _He doesn't stand a chance..._

However, to her absolute shock, the Butz was laughing. "Oh man I feel sorry for you!" he said, doubled over because he was laughing so much. "I sure wish Edgey was here to see me win, but oh well~ My team will be Deoxys, Rayquaza and Zekrom." He grinned and gave a huge thumbs up to Gumshoe, who was standing on the opposite end of the battlefield utterly gobsmacked.  
>Kay was in a similar state, and when she was finally able to form words again she said, "You... You are using all legendaries? No way..." And when she saw their levels, she nearly had a heart attack:<p>

Deoxys- lvl. 100  
>Rayquaza- lvl. 100<br>Zekrom- lvl. 100

"They're all maxed out!" she exclaimed, taking a closer look at their individual stats. "And all of these are at the maximum too! Oh my God... you really _are _a pokémon master!"  
>"Told ya," Larry said happily.<br>_Wow... Gummy is totally out of this, _Kay thought as she composed herself in preparation for the role of epic pokémon referee.

"This is just great," Franziska moaned to the side with Lana and Godot. "Apparently he's strong, so that means he won't be out. I hate this foolish competition!"  
>"I agree completely," said Lana, nodding her head to reinforce it.<br>"Meh..." said Godot as he took another sip of his coffee. "Deoxys just becomes a liability, and Zekrom could easily fall if that scruffy character uses Flygon correctly."  
>The other A.W.E.S.O.M.E members looked at him in a way that said, please-don't-tell-me-you-are-secretly-a-fan-and-didn't-tell-us-you-freaking-coffee-idiot. I'm sure that you all know this look.<p>

"You foolish caffeine obsessed fool! How dare you not tell your own allies that you have knowledge on the subject?" Franziska half yelled half whispered (for she couldn't draw attention to herself for fear of the alliance being found out).  
>"Don't sweat it," Diego said calmly as he swilled the coffee around inside the mug. "I have already managed to tap into that 'Little Thief' contraption and altar the processes. The man you want out of the competition won't stand a chance, just like the tasteless and repulsive beverage known as tea cannot possibly stand up to the robust and mature taste of coffee."<p>

"How, may I ask, did you hack into Little Thief?" asked Lana, still trying to come to terms with a man like Godot being into a kid's game.  
>The eccentric prosecutor merely grinned and pointed to the hi-tech visor he wore. "This thing has wicked technological advantages, baby," he said smoothly, "I can hack into anything I want with these."<p>

Kay brought everyone's attention back to the task at hand as she sang, "And now for my surprise~ Here to create the mood and make this even more epic, The Gavinners have ever so kindly agreed to come and play the pokémon theme song during the battle~! Everyone, please welcome onto their very own stage, The Gavinners!"

The Yatagarasu pressed down on that button from earlier, and the stage opened up once again that day, with four young, good looking teens appearing this time around. Two of them were just your typical pretty boys who the girls would tend to swoon over, but the other two were something else entirely.  
>A blonde who looked as if he were from another country blinked in the sudden light (as it was dark underneath the stage) and as soon as he saw Kay he ran up to her with a worried expression on his face. "Meine Guitarre!" he yelled frantically, grabbing onto the thief. "Please say that meine Guitarre ist safe!"<p>

"It's all under control," Kay said, swatting at the overly dramatic blonde, "Don't sweat it Klavier~"  
>"Heh, dude's been going to pieces under the stage. He'll probably kill you if his oh so precious guitar has even the slightest scratch." The other guy who really stood out spoke, confidence drowning his words. He looked very cool indeed, more masculine than the slightly more feminine blonde. He ran his hands along his very... interesting hairstyle and struck a pose. Some of the more immature contestants giggled, thinking very rude and childish things. "Now then let's do this! The sooner we get this over with, the sooner Klavier gets his guitar back and we can all go home!"<p>

The other two nodded, and went to set the instruments up. Klavier pouted at Kay before reluctantly going to get ready as well. Before he could get completely focused however, he saw a girl who totally looked like his type.

"Why hello there, Fräulein~" he beamed at Ema, who looked at him as if he was completely insane.  
>"Umm... Hello," she said uneasily. <em>Something about this guy is totally weird! I can't put my finger on it, but this guy seems way too... Glimmerous? Is that a word? Well, scientifically speaking, that is the best word to describe him.<em>

"Hey, come on lover boy!" The other guy, whom the contestants found out was called Daryan later on, literally had to drag the German away from his current place on the edge of the stage. "You're scaring her you idiot!" he laughed.  
>Klavier just glared at him. "Nonsense, I am Klavier Gavin~!" He smiled a dazzling smile and said, "How dare you suggest that meine little Schätzchen was scared of me?"<p>

_Ha! Scared of that fop? You can't be serious! _Ema just snorted at the ridiculous idea, and her sister took notice of this. Ideas began to for within the elder Skye's head...

"Alright then~!" Kay said as she danced around the stage. "The band is all ready and so are the contestants. So without further ado, let the battle begin~!"

As soon as she said this, The Gavinners began to sing the pokémon theme song.  
>Larry and Godot were singing along until they remembered what they had to. And so, when Klavier reached: 'The power that's inside' both men took action.<p>

"Pikachu, I choose you!" Godot yelled in that totally needless way that pokémon characters do but it looks and sounds cool anyway.  
>"Pikachu!" Sure enough, Little Thief really did manage to replicate games, because it seemed as though a real live Pikachu was right there on the battlefield.<p>

"Oh man, this is too cool!" Larry said, not able to wait any longer to see what his pokémon would look like in real life. "Okay then, let's win this thing Rayquaza!" The Butz tossed his pokéball into the air, but before the pokémon could be revealed Godot let out a low, evil-ish sounding chuckle.

It was on the line: 'Our courage will pull us through' that Larry's pokémon appeared. Not a badass green snake of doom (Rayquaza) but instead, a crappy little red fish that could do absolutely nothing.  
>"Wait... a Magikarp?" Kay asked, confused. "Why would it be a Magikarp?"<br>The red fish just flopped about on the battlefield, and Larry didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

"What type of foolishly designed monster thing is that? It just looks like a fish! It is completely beyond me how this foolish franchise has survived for so long."  
>"Now now, the games aren't as bad as some of the rather shocking blends I've had in my time." Godot shuddered as he remembered the abject horror, which was his special blend #253. "Never again," he muttered in fear before he composed himself and said, "Anyway, this battle won't take long. Magikarp are the worst pokémon ever, so your little boyfriend will be out soon."<br>Franzy just about managed to restrain herself from hitting Godot with her whip and turned to watch the battle.

"Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all~!" Klavier sang as the two men prepared for battle.

_Okay, minor setback but I still have two legendaries up my sleeve. This Magikarp is no big deal, _thought Larry as Gumshoe commanded his Pikachu to use Thunderbolt. It obviously finished off the fish straight away.

Kay was busy staring in awe at the real life battle she was seeing, and used her microphone to sing along with Klavier at the chorus.

"Right, now time to win this thing!" Larry said determinedly, pulling out his next pokéball. "Let's do this, Deoxys!"

But yet again, another Magikarp was left floundering hopelessly on the battlefield. "You can't be serious!" the brunette shouted, stamping his foot in anger. _This isn't fair! I have the best pokémon ever! What's going on?_

Meanwhile, Franziska wanted to hug Godot. Lana had an amused expression as she looked on, waiting for Larry's inevitable loss. She would occasionally glance over at Klavier every now and then, and catch him winking at her little sister. _Oh this next Lang Zi will be perfect, _she thought wickedly. However, she retained her sweet smile as yet again, Larry's pokémon fainted with one attack from Pikachu.

The Butz didn't even bother calling out Zekrom and instead just threw the pokéball halfheartedly. Sure enough, another Magikarp appeared.

"You are a genius!" Franziska praised her male ally as she saw the one she wanted out of this competition with a passion being quickly destroyed.

And so it came to pass that Larry lost the battle in under five minutes, and team A.W.E.S.O.M.E all high-fived each other with their success.

"Wow... That kinda sucked," Kay said, shaking her head at Larry as he came to join her on stage to sit on the Loser's Bench.  
>"It's not fair I say!" he yelled, "I was sabotaged!"<br>"Don't be ridiculous," the thief laughed, "No one would dare to sabotage _my _competition, after all I am the Yatagarasu~!" She pushed the unwilling Brunette to the Loser's Bench and was about to resume her host routine when all of a sudden, Klavier spoke.

"Okay, we did the song, so we can go now right~?"  
>"I guess so," Kay pouted, "But you should have been here longer. I didn't know that Larry was lying when he said he was good at pokémon and actually had a rubbish team."<br>"I'M TELLING YOU THAT I WAS SABOTAGED!"  
>"Don't be silly," sighed Kay.<br>"YOU'RE JUST AS MEAN AS EDGEY!" But despite his protests, Larry sat down with a sad sigh. _I will prove that I was unfairly taken out and then they'll be the idiots! Time to do some detective work... _And it was now that Larry began to watch each contestant extremely carefully to see if he could spot anything 'suspicious'. It then occurred to him, _wait a second... Don't tell me the reason Edgey and his boyfriend are missing is because they are trying to get rid of everyone secretly! I shouldn't be too hasty but... that's the only logical explanation as to where they are as far as I can tell! _After two more minutes of thinking though, he shook his head. _Nah, doing something underhanded isn't Edgey's style at all. So that means that it's someone else... but who?_

"Meine Guitarre?" Klavier asked, holding out his hand.  
>"I'll go get it," Kay huffed as she flounced off somewhere.<br>During the thief's absence, the German took the opportunity to look at Ema and wink. She just sighed and rolled her eyes, although somehow this amounted to Klavier thinking, _Oh ja, she's totally into me. _

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 3.40pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

When Kay came back with a guitar case a few minutes later, Klavier's eyes lit up and he practically jumped on it, hugging it affectionately.  
>"Honestly, you're an idiot," Daryan sighed as he tried to pry the blonde away from the guitar and off the stage. "Let's just go dude! We don't wanna get dragged into some more blackmail by this crazy girl!" He nodded towards the Yatagarasu as he said this, who just went, "Hmph!" indignantly.<p>

"HOLD IT!"  
>Everyone turned to look at who had called out. It was Lana. "I shall like this next Lang Zi," she said.<br>Kay nodded, curious to see where this would lead. "I'm afraid that the band shall have to stick around a while longer, well the German fellow does."

"Well in that case, I'm outta here!" and Daryan made a dash for it. The other band members had disappeared long ago.  
>"Ah! Wait!" Klavier called desperately, because he didn't want to run the risk of having anything else stolen by the thief. However, it came to pass that he was abandoned.<p>

Franziska and Godot looked at Lana with curiosity, because she had not discussed this with them (and that had become a rule within the A.W.E.S.O.M.E alliance).  
>"It is quite simple," Lana smiled. "This is for my sister so of course I won't make it too bad," she looked at her sister kindly, but Ema got an uneasy feeling. "Okay then. Ema Skye, Lang Zi Says: sing a romantic duet with Klavier Gavin."<p>

Franzy glared at Lana while Godot stood still, only moving to sip at his coffee and not giving away how he felt about the situation.  
>"What sort of foolish Lang Zi is that?" Franziska hissed into the district prosecutor's ear.<br>"Just trust me," Lana whispered.

"You can't be serious sis!" Ema said, eyes wide. "I hate love songs! And why with that guy?" She jerked her thumb in the direction of Klavier to indicate who 'that guy' was. All of a sudden, the lead singer seemed very enthusiastic about the whole thing.  
>"Ich denke das ist sehr gut!" he said happily.<br>"No way." Ema said resolutely. "I refuse to sing with such a... such a..."  
>"Such a wonderfully talented person like mich?" Klavier finished, practically sparkling.<br>"Such a glimmerous fop," the wannabe scientist said in an annoyed tone.

"Glimmerous? What sort of foolish word is glimmerous?" asked Franziska.  
>"It's just a word," Ema shrugged.<br>"No it isn't!" Franzy pressed the issue, "No such word exists!"  
>"It really is a word!" Ema insisted, before putting her hands up to indicate surrender. "Look, I don't want to get into a fight and I certainly don't want to sing anything romantic with Mr. Piano."<p>

"'Mr. Piano'?" Klavier questioned.  
>"Klavier is piano in German right? Well it doesn't matter, I don't want to sing with you."<br>"Ach! So mean! But Ich still love you Schätzchen."  
>"Stop calling me that!"<p>

Meanwhile, Kay had gone and retrieved two microphones. She grabbed Ema and pulled her up onto the stage, thrusting one of the mics at her friend and giving the other to Klavier.  
>"Okay then, I'll let Ms. Skye tell you the rules~"<br>"I said I'm not doing it Kay!" Ema protested, but the raven haired one merely shook her head.  
>"Ema, it's only singing. Why would you want to go out over something so easy?"<br>The brunette considered. _Scietifically speaking... that would be stupid. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. _She sighed in defeat and Kay grinned.

"The rules of this Lang Zi are basic," said Lana. "I shall be in charge of the song selection, and you must sing along. If you manage to make it though my playlist, which consists of five songs, then you pass. If you don't, then you shall be out. Needless to say, you must sing properly, no mumbling. Understand?"  
>"Ja~!" Klavier said joyfully, sparkles all around him.<br>"I wasn't talking to you," Lana said and looked towards her sister, who looked very bitter at this moment in time. Ema nodded grudgingly.

The Yatagarasu gestured for Lana to come up on stage and gave her a little DJ station where she could put whatever songs she wanted on.

The other A.W.E.S.O.M.E members looked on with interest, although Franzisa was mentally preparing how she would dispose of Lana if this turned out to be a wasted Lang Zi.  
><em>Knowing my sister as well as I do, then I have to play all the cheesiest songs. If that doesn't have her cringing and desperate to leave, then I'll move onto more explicit songs... <em>The elder Skye's smile momentarily formed a smirk as she set up the playlist she thought of during the pokémon battle.

The big screen had been set up to display the lyrics for the songs, in case any of the two singers needed prompting, thus their singing began, with Ema already regretting agreeing to this.

1.) Loving You- Minnie Riperton

Ema knew this song off by heart because Lana had been obsessed with it during one of her relationships. It was too cheesy for Ema's taste, but there were songs a million times worse that could have been chosen. Coming to the (scientific) conclusion that there were contestants that had done far worse than sing a few songs, Ema decided that she may as well pass this Lang Zi and stay in the tournament a bit longer.  
>She opened her mouth once the intro ended and began.<p>

"Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful~" she sang. All who were present were pretty impressed, the wannabe scientist had a pretty good singing voice. She cringed as she had to say, "Makin' love with you is all I wanna do," to which Klavier winked and gave her a look that said, 'I have absolutely no problem with that'. She shuddered, _stupid glimmerous fop! _

Klavier joined in for the next two lines, harmonising his voice with Ema's so that they sounded perfect together: "Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true, And everything that I do is out of lovin' you."  
>Anyone that actually held emotion was looking on at the scene and going, "Awwwww."<br>However, Lana was annoyed because her sister was faring much better than she first intended, Franziska was busy trying not to throw up at the sappy scene playing out on the stage and Godot... well no one was sure what Godot's reaction was because he was just stood there drinking coffee (as usual).

When it got to the "La la la la la la la... do do do do do" bit, Klavier pulled Ema close to him. "W-what the heck are you doing?" she asked, her eyes wide.  
><em>Perfect! This is the kind of thing that I need! <em>Lana thought as she watched to see her sister's reactions. Much to her annoyance, Ema carried on singing, trying to push the shimmering lead singer away from her (without much success).  
>When the second verse started, Lana started to get annoyed and so changed the song without warning. <em>I'll just have to make it even cheesier!<em>

2.) You're My Honeybunch- Judianna Castle

The usually cheery younger Skye honestly felt like punching her sister when she heard the song change to this one. She briefly considered giving up, but thought that she would at least attempt it, because so many contestants before her had been much braver and done far worse (most of Miles' Lang Zi's coming to her mind).

She took a deep breath and began. "You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum, Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie~" she sang, although she wanted to die right there and then. She could hear Maggey and Larry sniggering from the Loser's Bench, and even Kay and Gumshoe were visibly trying to hold back their laughter. Oldbag was busy muttering something about the "songs of today being nothing compared to the ones of her day" and Franziska was just wondering, _what on earth kind of foolish song is this?_

Needless to say, Klavier had never heard of this song but soon picked up the general tune and looked at the lyrics being displayed on the big screen.

"You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop, Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye~" they both sang together, Klavier pulling Ema into a hug of sorts. _Why won't he let me go? _Ema thought, desperately trying to escape but also focusing on the horrible lyrics at the same time. "And I love you so and I want you to know, That I'll always be right here~" _Oh God... I want to die, _the young Skye thought, as Klavier actually had the audacity to lean her down, like professional dancers do.

_Well Ema is getting more uncomfortable... guess I should switch now and shock the system! No more cheese! _Lana felt herself liking this DJ-ing business and was already beginning to come up with a way she could maybe do it part time.

3.) Rude Boy- Rihanna

As soon as she heard this song, Ema nearly died. _Sis can't be serious! I can't sing this! _She looked over to Lana to see what on earth she was playing at, but saw someone there that wasn't her sister. It had happened again. Last year, Lana got so engrossed in the tournament that she completely lost herself. The same had happened this year, and so Ema realised that the songs were bound to get worse and worse until she finally cracked. She had to show her sister that she could be strong, and that giving in to the competition was not the way. _Okay, this is song three of five... I can do this!_

"Come on rude boy, boy  
>Can you get it up?<br>Come here rude boy, boy  
>Is you big enough?"<p>

Despite hating the song, Ema gave it her all just to show Lana that she was not going to give up. Klavier looked very impressed with this, and joined in at the part where it went:

"Take it, take it  
>Baby, baby<br>Take it, take it  
>Love me, love me"<p>

He grabbed Ema by the hand and twirled her around, dancing around her in a way that was weirdly sensual when she sang,

"Tonight  
>I'mma let you be the captain<br>Tonight  
>I'mma let you do your thing, yeah<br>Tonight  
>I'mma let you be a rider<br>Giddy up  
>Giddy up<br>Giddy up, babe"

He made it look like he was riding something when it reached the appropriate line and winked at his singing partner. _GAH! This is so humiliating!_

After about a minute of more embarrassment, and Klavier had dragged Ema around the stage in an attempt at a Tango, Lana thought of a song that was _much _worse and was bound to make her sister quit.

4.) Get Low- Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz

_How does Lana even know this song? _Ema wondered as Klavier was currently lifting her up for some unknown reason. "Oi! Put me down you glimmerous fop!" she commanded, before she properly remembered the lyrics for the song she now had to sing.

_She is so dead tonight! _Ema thought as she mentally prepared herself. Klavier knew this song and began to 'pump and grind', forcing Ema to do the same. There was no helping it now, all of the contestants were in hysterics as they watched the two doing 'gangsta dancing' and singing alternately like so:

Ema & Klavier: 3, 6, 9 damn your fine move it so you can sock it to me one more time, Get low, Get low, Get low, Get low, Get low, Get low~!

Ema: To the window!

Klavier: To the window!

Ema: To the wall!

Klavier: To the wall!

Ema: To the sweat drop down my balls~

Klavier: MY BALLS!

Ema: To all these bitches crawl!

Klavier: CRAWL!

Well, ahem... you get the idea. The sight of these two was so comical that Lana couldn't help but play it all the way through because it was just so hilarious. Larry was very nearly close to wetting himself at the end, and Maggey was finding it difficult to breathe because she had laughed so much. Kay was clutching onto Gumshoe for support because otherwise she would literally be in a state of ROTFL and even Godot had an amused smirk on his face. The only two who weren't impressed were Franziska and Oldbag, who were both muttering angry critiques at the 'vulgar' song.

Once the laughter had died down, Lana began to worry. She knew that her allies would be severely hacked off if she failed to get another contestant out, and so she wracked her brain to try and think of a song that her sister wouldn't be able to do. _Aha! Got it! There is no way she'll be able to do this one..._

Meanwhile, Ema was busy grinning to herself and thinking, _Only one song left! I can do this!_

5.) Baby- Justine... oh err *cough* Justin Bieber

Ema and Klavier both groaned when they heard the intro play, and both of them contemplated suicide.  
><em>I can't stand this guy! I can't do this! Lana, this is just low!<em>

Lana saw her sister grow weaker to the draining power of the wretched song, and was thankful that Ema hadn't been hit with the 'Bieber Fever' because otherwise, Lana would have had to kill her. _Urgh! How can people like this? _the district prosecutor wondered.

Trying to stay strong, Ema began.

"You know you love me, I know you care  
>Just shout whenever, and I'll be there~"<p>

But it was no good; her energy was dying. She couldn't handle the complete and utter horror that was this song. Klavier felt bad and so joined in so that Ema wouldn't be alone in the song, although he was also feeling the draining effects of it.

"You are my love, you are my heart  
>And we will never, ever, ever be apart~"<p>

It was about this time that both Ema and Klavier collapsed to the floor, focusing any and all energy left on trying to finish the song. By some miracle, they managed to stagger through the second part of verse one, but things went wrong when they reached the chorus. With the last of her strength, Ema feebly sang:

"And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh... ohh... OH I CAN'T DO THIS!"

Klavier had already passed out, because the sterile pop that seemed to be taking over the world would bring him close to death. Blasting a rock tune in his ears soon brought him around though. Ema and Klavier just held each other, shaking.

"N-Never again..." he said, and Ema just nodded in agreement.

Lana cut the music. "I'm sorry sister, but..."  
>"You don't have to tell me," Ema sighed. <em>I tried, but there was no way I could have done that. <em>The wannabe scientist got up and made her way over to the Loser's Bench where she promptly collapsed. After a while, Gavin managed to move himself and decided to flee the Random Field as fast as he could before either one of his precious possessions got stolen again, or some sadist decided to play some more Bieber tracks.

"Hey, Fräulein." He smiled weakly at Ema, who did the same. "Das war... fun."  
>The younger Skye giggled and said, "Not sure that's the word I'd have opted for."<br>Klavier paused momentarily before he said, "Mind if I take your number?"  
>Ema considered, before coming to the conclusion that a guy who was willing to sing Justin Bieber with her, thus risking his own health, had to be worth keeping around.<p>

While the two exchanged contact information, Kay began cooing, "Wow~! We are totally love experts here at the Lang Zi Says competition~!"

When Lana returned to her team mates, they gave her big smiles and nods of approval. "Well done," Franziska said, Godot merely grunting to show that he meant the same.  
>"It won't be long until this competition is ours!" Lana said happily.<br>"Quite," agreed the blue haired one.  
>"Ours shall be the most refined blend this world has ever seen," Diego said as he took another sip of coffee.<br>_Where on earth does he come up with all of the obscure coffee metaphors? _wondered the female allies, but they decided not to ask for fear of angering the coffee nut.

It was about five minutes after Klavier departed that Miles and Lang emerged from back stage, dressed in their usual clothes although their hair was slightly damp.

"Oh thank God!" Kay exclaimed, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "I thought you two had been kidnapped or something!"  
>"No need to worry, we're totally fine!" Lang grinned, seemingly in a <em>very<em> good mood for whatever reason.

"Where did you two disappear off to for so long?" Kay asked, pressing for answers.  
>"We were just backstage Kay," Miles answered, shrugging as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Did we miss anything?" He glanced over to the Loser's Bench and was surprised to see Ema sat there. However, he let out a sigh as he said, "Why am I not surprised that Larry ended up there?"<br>"YOU'VE ONLY BEEN BACK TEN SECONDS AND YOU'RE ALREADY MAKING FUN OF ME? YOU'RE SO MEAN EDGEY!"

"Hey, quit trying to change the subject! Why is your hair all wet? And same for you Wolfie."  
>"It got hot backstage," Lang said with a small grin, "So we took showers to cool down."<br>"Oh?" Kay asked, looking sceptical. "Showers don't take _that _long." In a very Edgeworth-style way, Kay was beginning to use logic to connect all the fragments of information she had.

"Ah, well the dress Miles was wearing was kinda hard for him to get off alone..." Lang began, but Miles immediately give him his infamous death glare, which seemed to be yelling, "If you say anymore then you will seriously regret it!"  
>Deciding to risk death, Shi-Long said playfully, "So I just helped him out of it!"<p>

"L-Lang!" Edgey suppressed a blush and looked at the agent angrily.  
>"Hey, no need to get angry," Lang said as he casually put his arm around Miles, "It's true. You got out of the dress and then it got hot so we had showers."<br>"I am going to kill you," the prosecutor said quietly so that only the wolf could here. Said wolf simply grinned and hugged his boyfriend before jumping off of the stage to join the other contestants. Miles also went to where everyone else was, looking around to make sure that everyone was still clueless.

"So then, let's get on with this! Looks like we lost some people while we were away, so the competition is beginning to get interesting!" Lang had a 'bring-it-on' expression and couldn't wait to get stuck in with the tournament once again. However, he wasn't able to continue straight away because Kay had just finished connecting the dots in her little logic puzzle.

Long story short, she squealed and got an immense nosebleed, before passing out for a while. Miles face-palmed, although the other competitors still hadn't put two and two together yet. Shi-Long just chuckled before saying, "Well, guess we get a small break then. Anyone mind filling me in on what happened?"

And so the Lang Zi Says Tournament took a five-minute break while Miles and Lang were filled in on all the details, and Kay was busy recovering.

x~x~x~x~x

**Okay, so I just wanna say: I am very sorry if I offended any Bieber fans. I personally am not a fan, but I didn't mean anything in this fic to be spiteful or anything :P Anywho, thank you's go to Kongu123 for the pokémon battle (it was originally Yu-Gi-Oh! but I know nothing about it) and to StarzXAndXMoon for the Ema/Klavier duets~ I hope you liked how they turned out :D As always, your reviews are the bestest things in the world so please do that~ ^_^ And also, if you guys want another interview chappy like the one from the first Lang Zi Says, then please leave questions and such :3**  
><strong>So thank you for reading my fic everyone and until next time~<strong>

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	7. Let's Go To The Circus!

**Hey all~! ^_^****  
><strong>So as we enter chapter 7 of this thing, I was curious to see how the contestant count compared to last year. Looks like they are much stronger this time around, cuz we still have 6 contestants left compared with the 3 left standing by chappy 7 last time XD Ah well, it makes for a more interesting competition this way ;D Well, let's continue shall we? :)<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: Oh God, if I owned this series how messed up it would be ;)<strong>  
><strong>Just To Say: My school is evil, hence why I haven't updated in ages- no time -_- I am very sorry about that u.u<br>****

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Seven- Let's Go To The Circus!

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 4.05pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"Kyaa~ This competition is the absolute best~! I can't believe that you two actually... KYAAAAAAAA~!" Kay dreamily collapsed back onto the stage while Edgeworth hurled protests at her.

"Don't just assume what you want Kay! I'm sure that you have _completely _the wrong idea! I will not stand idly by and tolerate such ridiculous assumptions being made about me." He folded his arms to show that he meant business, although the other contestants had no clue what the prosecutor seemed so mad about anyway.

Lang didn't even bother interjecting and merely stood there with a grin on his face. He burst out laughing when Miles nearly unleashed the apocalypse on Kay when she said, "You can't hide the truth from the Yatagarasu! I know _exactly _what went on!"

"This is not a laughing matter Lang!" Edgeworth sulked childishly as he looked at his boyfriend with an exasperated expression.  
>"Just lighten up a bit princess," the wolf said cheerfully.<br>"Stop calling me that!"  
>"No way," winked Shi-Long.<p>

"While this lovers quarrel is thoroughly adorable or whatever," Lana interrupted, "We do still have a competition to get on with."

"Ms. Skye is right," Kay nodded, composing herself. "Okay, so we still have six of you left, so let's see if we can narrow the playing field further~!"

"Alright! Now you're talking!" Lang said confidently.

"I shall see if anyone over on the Loser's Bench has any suggestions," the young thief said happily as she made her way to the right hand side of the stage. "So, any ideas?" she asked them, but quietly so that the remaining contestants couldn't hear what was being discussed.

"Right, now that my foolish little brother and his mutt have returned, we must do our utmost to remove them from the tournament," Franziska told her two allies to the side of the Random Field. Kay and those that were now out were busy having some sort of top secret collaboration on what was to be the next Lang Zi, so the A.W.E.S.O.M.E members had a chance to have a quick meeting.

"All we have to do is make sure we pass whatever Lang Zi those lot," Lana jerked her thumb in the direction of Kay and company, "Issue and then we can claim the next Lang Zi as our own! Then, naturally-"

"-We can remove the stale coffee beans from this delicious concoction that we are brewing," Godot finished off, ignoring the perplexed expressions displayed on his allies faces while they were trying to decode what he had just said.

"Something feels off," Miles said bluntly, peering over to the opposite end of the field from where he was.  
>Lang followed his gaze, also noting that something didn't feel quite right.<p>

"What do you think they're doing over there?" the wolf asked, trying to place just _why _something didn't seem normal.

"I honestly have no idea, but it can't be good," Miles replied.  
>"We'll just have to keep an eye on 'em I guess," Lang said calmly, putting his hands behind his head.<br>The prosecutor nodded in agreement and thought, _Just what are they up to?_

"Alright then~!" Kay sang happily, "We have the best Lang Zi ever so will everyone please gather around?" She grinned as she looked at all the contestants that were still in, and said, "This Lang Zi involves _all _of you!"

"Oh?" Lang said curiously, quirking an eyebrow slightly. "Well this sounds like it will be interesting."

"You got that right!" the Yatagarasu beamed, "Okay first things first: as there are six of you, you need to split into two teams of three."

"This is a team Lang Zi? Miles asked in confusion, "I thought this was the type of tournament that encouraged 'every man for himself'."

"Well, it kinda is. You see, despite the fact that you're in teams this time, someone will still be out. Basically: the winning team are safe, and someone from the losing team will be out. By the way, I'm the one that chooses who goes out."

"Well, I'm teaming up with Lana and Godot," Franziska said firmly, and of course there were no objections from the other two members of the secret alliance.

"Okay, so that leaves Mr. Edgeworth, Wolfie and Gummy on a team~! This is gonna be so cool!" Kay began twirling around before striking a dramatic pose and saying grandly, "And now I shall announce what you have to do! I'm sure that most of you are aware of a place called Berry Big Circus?"

"Isn't that one of the places my sister ended up last year?" Lana inquired, vaguely recalling a circus of that name.

"That's right! Both of these Lang Zi's take place there. Ms. vK and co. have to get one of you to ride Regent! Mr. Edgeworth and everyone, you have to steal Regina's tiara!"

Now, none of the contestants actually knew what that meant, especially the A.W.E.S.O.M.E alliance who just thought, _Who on earth is Regent?_ However, Franziska vaguely remembered there being a creature of that name when she was a prosecutor for a case that took place at the circus, yet she could not remember just what kind of animal this Regent was (after all, she had prosecuted tons of cases and there was no reason for her to remember something 'foolish' like what animals were at the circus). Kay dismissed them then and bundled them into the limo that had been used earlier, telling them that everything would soon become clear.

"Remember," she said before they all drove off, "Someone on the losing team will be out, so give it your best everyone! Also, Ms. vK, Godot and Ms. Skye win the moment one of them successfully rides Regent, but in order for the other team to win you actually have to bring the tiara back to the limo."

"So what kind of place is Berry Big Circus?" Lana asked Franziska and Gumshoe, knowing that they had both been there before.  
>"All I recall is the case being extremely annoying," she replied, unable to shake the feeling that this Lang Zi was going to be a complete pain.<br>"I can't remember much about it either pal, all I know is that it got so crazy that I completely lost track of everything!"

"Heh, how hard can something at a circus be?" Lang smirked, thinking that this Lang Zi would be extremely easy.

He was about to be proven wrong...

Meanwhile, back at the Random Field, Kay had once again managed to tap into cameras so that she and everyone else would be able to watch the events unfold at the circus.  
>Ema and Maggey were watching with extreme intrigue, because both of them had had to endure the crazy people there last year. One thing was certain: this would be exceptionally interesting.<p>

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 4.20pm-<br>-Place: Berry Big Circus-

Once the limo had dropped the contestants outside of the circus, both teams immediately split up, determined to beat their opposition.

-A.W.E.S.O.M.E-

"Right, who knows what Regent is?" Lana asked, "Because if we have to ride it, it'll probably be a horse or something right?"

"You'd think so," replied Franziska, "Trust the loser's to come up with such a foolish Lang Zi."

Godot didn't say anything, but he did feel slight unease. Surely their Lang Zi couldn't be as easy as they were imagining it to be.

"Hey, look there!" the district prosecutor pointed to a nearby sign.

"'Regent's pen'... Sounds like that is just what we are looking for," Godot said coolly, holding his hand up and making a cup of coffee appear. He sipped at it as they followed the signs on their way to this Regent creature, not really paying much attention as his female allies were busy laughing at how easy this was going to be.

However, before they could reach their destination, a voice sounded. "Hey, what are you doing?" asked a curious voice.

The three alliance members whirled around and immediately clapped eyes on a clown, or as Franziska called him, "A foolishly foolish fool."

"Hey there," the clown smiled, "The name's Moe."

"How utterly ridiculous," Franziska mumbled, before taking a closer look at the clown named Moe. "Is that a carrot on your hat?"

"Yup," he said, "Cool right?"

"Foolish." _That's right... I remember this foolish clown now! Looks as though he's as infuriating as ever, _Franzy thought as she glared at the circus performer.

"Hey, no need to be so sulky," the clown said before pausing and saying, "Why so blue? Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Get it? 'Cause your hair is blue! Aha! Aha! Aha!"

While the clown was having a fit of laughter at the absolutely horrifically bad joke, Franziska readied her whip and practically growled, "Are you mocking me?"

It was at this point that Godot stepped in, because Franziska killing the vexatious clown would most likely result in them getting kicked off of the premises. "I was wondering," he said in his velvet smooth voice, "If you would be so kind as to inform us on how we are supposed to reach Regent."

"Regent?" the clown repeated.  
>"Yes," said Godot.<br>"Yes," said Moe.  
>"Yes what?" the coffee lover pressed.<br>"Yes what?" was all Moe said in return.

It appears that he is mimicking you," Lana sighed; she never was a fan of clowns.

"This is needlessly foolish! I'll soon whip some sense into him!" The prosecuting prodigy cracked her whip against the ground and was all set to whack the orange out of the clown's hair before he stopped copying Godot and said, "Sorry, you can't just get to see Regent."

"What? Is there any way we can see him?" Diego asked.

"Of course there is," said Moe, before snickering slightly. The reason as to why he was snickering soon became obvious when he said, "I would ad-visor you to get a ticket! Aha! Aha! Aha! 'Cause you wear a visor! Aha! Aha!"

"I've just about had enough of this," Franzy said angrily, but just before she could unleash her rage, a brownish-orangyish blur whizzed passed, nearly knocking Lana off of her feet.

"Wh-what on earth was that?" she asked in confusion, before looking down and exclaiming, "Hey! One of my medals has gone!"

"What?" asked Franziska, peering at where Lana's medals hung on her jacket. Sure enough, one was definitely missing.

"Oh, that'll be Money," said the clown, nodding seriously.

"And Money is?" asked Godot, raising an eyebrow.

"The circus monkey!" grinned Moe, "He really loves shiny things, so he'll have taken it."

"Urgh, we don't have time for this!" Franziska growled, "Those foolish idiots are going to beat us at this rate!"

"We can't just leave my medal behind!" Lana protested.

"I know I know. Looks like we'll have to get it back first, then find that Regent animal." Franzy turned to face the annoying circus performer who had a silly grin on his face. The grin soon disappeared as she grabbed him by that ruffly thing around his neck and said threateningly, "Enough is enough clown, where did the monkey go?"

"Ah, uhhh..." the orange haired guy hesitated briefly, but when it looked as though the prosecutor was about to kill him, or in the very least seriously maim him, he managed to stutter out, "A-Acro's room!" He pointed in the direction they needed to go, and the blue haired female released him with a smirk. "Now was that so difficult?" she asked, stalking off in the direction she'd been told. The other two A.W.E.S.O.M.E members followed, and poor Moe was left to wonder what on earth had just happened.

-Edgey, Lang, Gummy-

Meanwhile, the opposing trio were completely lost.

"Where do we even begin in a place this big?" Miles asked, not really directing it at anyone but just thinking aloud.

"Why not just start in the tent?" Lang suggested, "It's worth a shot right?"

"Yeah!" Gumshoe said enthusiastically, "I'll go find the entrance pal!" He began to wander off before Edgeworth called, "Wait! This is a team event, we need to stick together!"

"I know that's the ideal situation," the wolf said, "But it would be quicker if we just split up."

"I wonder if there's anyone we can ask for directions pal," Gumshoe said.  
>As if in answer, a man came into view. He was quite a distance away, but it was obvious that he was a circus performer because despite the distance, the three men could see the huge, red bow tie clearly.<p>

"Guess he's as good as any," shrugged the wolf, before calling out, "Hey! You with the bow tie! Yeah you! C'mere!"  
>"Because he's really going to want to come to us if you're <em>that <em>polite," Miles said sarcastically.

Shockingly, the man actually did deign to approach the trio.

_Apart from the eccentric bow tie, he doesn't seem like the type of person who'd fit in at a circus, _Edgeworth thought, looking the man up and down. Overall he was rather plain, clad in a blue blouse and white blazer with a haircut that just seemed normal and average. _I wonder what his act is..._

The silver haired on needn't have pondered the question for long, because it soon became clear just what this man's role in the circus was.

"Yo, thanks for coming over man," Shi-Long said, the very epitome of cool. "I was wondering if you knew where we could find some girl called Regina."

The man didn't reply and just looked at the three of them blankly.

"Umm... Do you know Regina pal?" Gumshoe pressed, but still there was no reply.

"What the hell?" mumbled the wolf, moving his hand in front of the man's face to see if he would blink, or give any kind of reaction whatsoever. It was then that, without warning, the man pulled out a wooden puppet.

"Ah, I see," Edgeworth said, "Clearly this man is a Ventriloquist."

"Oh, no shit Sherlock," the man said... or was it the puppet?

"E-Excuse me?" the prosecutor asked, completely taken aback at being spoken to like that.

"What, are you freaking deaf?" the puppet said in a mocking tone.  
>The man with the puppet looked as though he was about to tell the puppet off, but before he even got a chance he started pummeling himself with it. "I know what you're gonna say, but I ain't gonna 'mind my manners'!" the puppet screeched.<p>

"I... I'm confused pal," Gumshoe said.  
>"Well, I'm with you there," Lang agreed, looking at the scene playing out in front of him in confusion.<p>

All of a sudden, the puppet turned towards the agent and jeered at him. "Oi! What're you looking at?"

"Oh you can't be serious," Lang chuckled, looking thoroughly amused, "Am I seriously getting attitude from a block of wood?"

"You want a piece of me?" it screamed.

"Now now, let's all try and be civil with one another," Miles said, trying to diffuse the tension. "Now then," he looked at the puppet, "May I know how I should address you?" _I can't believe I'm actually talking to a puppet..._

"Hmph! The name's Trilo," the puppet announced, "What's it to ya Mr. Girly Frills?"

"G-Girly Frills? I'll have you know that this is a cravat!"

"Whatever, you're still a girl for wearing pink!"

"I am not of the female gender! How dare you insult me? And it's not pink, it's magenta!" Miles gave his infamous death glare, but the puppet merely cackled.

"Just lay off," Lang warned the puppet, "Don't make me use a lighter on you."

"You wouldn't dare!" Trilo said defiantly, before punching the mute man operating him and saying, "Don't you dare let them hurt me, you got that?"

"Look you damn tree stump, just tell us where Regina is and we can be on our way!" Shi-Long growled.

"Regina?" the puppet asked, all anger suddenly draining away. "You want to know where my wife is?"

"Your... wife?"

"Well, soon to be wife. I plan to marry her someday!"  
>The wolf couldn't help but burst our laughing upon hearing this, earning him an angry, "What the hell's so funny?" from Trilo.<br>"N-Nothing," he said between his laughs. "But seriously, where can we find her?"

"Wait a second," Trilo said, "How do I know that I can trust you?"

"I assure you that we do not have any ill intentions," Edgeworth chimed in.  
>"Yeah pal, we're not here to cause trouble," Gumshoe added.<p>

After a couple of minutes trying to reason with what is essentially a piece of wood, the trio finally earned Trilo's trust and found out that Regina would most likely be in the Big Top, and that the entrance was straight forward and to the left from where they were.

"That was certainly interesting," Lang said as he folded his arms behind his head, now out of earshot of the Ventriloquist.  
>"That isn't the word I'd have opted for," Edgeworth said coldly, "I cannot believe that he would talk to me in that manner. I really wish you did set that infernal puppet on fire!"<br>"At least we're gonna get that tiara thing soon though," the detective said, trying to make his friend see the positive side of things. "If we get it quickly, then we win and we're all safe, right Mr. Edgeworth?"  
>"I suppose so," he said bitterly, still annoyed at the extremely rude puppet.<p>

-A.W.E.S.O.M.E-

Elsewhere, the A.W.E.S.O.M.E Alliance wasn't faring as well. They had to walk in the completely opposite direction from where Regent supposedly was (and they still had no clue what kind of animal Regent was anyway), and were busy trying to find a room that belonged to some guy called Acro. After a few minutes of walking around completely lost and angry mumbling from Franziska on how they were foolishly wasting time, they finally happened upon the place they were searching for.

"Well then, let us proceed and see how this current blend will turn out," Godot said as he sipped at some coffee. He opened the door and walked in without bothering to knock, followed by the other two members. Armando was the first to lay eyes on the man who he assumed was Acro, noting the wheelchair and the Indian style this man seemed to have going on.

"Acro I presume?" he asked smoothly.

"Ah, why hello there," the man said, turning around form where he had been gazing out of the window to look at the three people now in his room. "I am indeed Acro but... may I ask who you are?"  
>"Some clown told us that a monkey would bring my medal to you," Lana stepped forward and addressed the man, scanning the area for said medal.<br>"Oh, I wondered whom that belonged to," Acro said kindly, reaching towards the windowsill and holding the medal he retrieved there out for the district prosecutor. "I apologise for Money's rudeness, he doesn't mean any ill."

"Well... I guess that's alright," Lana said, unable to stay mad for long because Acro had such a kind smile. He beamed when he heard her say that, and birds flew in through the open window to perch on his shoulders and sing him affectionate tunes.

_Where on earth did they all come from? _they all wondered, but ultimately gave up trying to figure that out because the people at this circus were all clearly insane.

"What a nice man," Lana whispered to her two friends.  
>"I agree," Godot said, nodding his approval before taking in some more coffee.<p>

Franziska on the other hand, didn't feel quite right. It was only a few seconds before the reason for that clicked. "Hang on a minute! How are you here, you should be in jail!"  
>"What?" asked Lana, shocked that such a kind man would possibly be put behind bars.<br>"This man was the killer back on the Berry Big Circus case I took! He should still be locked up!" The prosecuting prodigy eyed Acro suspiciously.

"Ah, I wondered why you looked so familiar," he said, his smile staying even but his eyes became slightly guarded.

"So, why are you here?" she pressed.  
>"I got let out early on good behaviour," he smiled, the birds singing a sweet tune as he did so.<br>"The criminal justice system is foolishly flawed if they let killers out on good behaviour," she said coldly, not trusting the man before her one bit.

"I assure you that I am a changed man," he said, before saying, "But why are you here again?"  
>Remembering the whole reason that they were at the circus in the first place, Franziska decided to drop matters on Acro's release and said, "We are looking to get to Regent, can you help?"<p>

"Of course," he said, the smile still fixed perfectly into place. He looked at the birds on his shoulder and said, "Formation X!"  
>The birds rose up off of his shoulder and began to circle around madly, chirping continuously. More birds flew in through the window and when there were too many to count, they began ordering themselves. The eventual result of this was an ultimate robot looking thing comprised entirely of birds. "The birds will show you the way," he said profoundly, while the A.W.E.S.O.M.E members were speechless.<p>

"Y-You guys are seeing this right?" Lana asked in total disbelief.  
>"Yeah..." Godot said, his usually calm voice actually showing a hint of shock as he looked at his coffee suspiciously. "Is this coffee bad or something?" he muttered to himself.<br>"W-What foolishness is this?" Franziska quizzed, choosing not to believe the image her eyes were displaying. _How on earth is that even possible?_

"This is the ultimate final form my birds take," Acro said cheerily, "They will take you to Regent. Have fun~"

And with that, the Bird Transformer thing made it's way out of the room, and the alliance members had no choice but to follow it and question everything they knew about life at the same time.

-Edgey, Lang, Gummy-

"Wow, this place is much bigger than I expected it to be," Lang noted as he stepped into the big top.  
>"Berry Big Circus is a totally big attraction pal!" Gumshoe said enthusiastically, "So they can afford to make this place so huge."<br>"We appear to be making good time," Miles nodded at his watch before looking around the big top. "Now all we have to do is ask to borrow Ms. Regina's tiara and victory is ours."  
>"Heh, this is so easy," Lang chuckled happily, "But I ain't gonna complain."<p>

After the three of them had spent a good few minutes walking around the area, they suddenly heard a squealed, "Omigosh yay~! Visitors!"  
>They all turned around and saw a young girl with long blonde hair beaming at them. "Hi there~!" she said happily as she waved the star wand in her hands around, "Who are you?"<p>

She began jumping up and down, completely full of energy. She was giggling, and the way her long blonde curls would flounce up and down in smooth wavy motions was almost hypnotic. It was then that Miles noticed the tiara upon the girl's head.

"Ah, are you perhaps Ms. Regina?" he asked politely.

"Yep!" she grinned, "How do you know my name? Are you a fan of me?"

"Err, well... We're actually here to ask a favour of you."

"A favour?" she asked, stopping her mad bouncing to look at them full of curiosity. Any movement the girl made caused little glints to shine off of her, courtesy of the numerous diamanté's that were studded throughout her pink skimpy leotard.  
><em>Just how old is this girl? <em>Miles wondered, _surely for someone so young to be wearing something like that is a bit... inappropriate._

Lang began chuckling and looked at Miles as he said, "Pink outfits with diamantés sure are popular today. You'll have to remind me to ask the young Yatagarasu to let us keep that dress you wore earlier."  
>"Don't be ridiculous," Miles said dismissively, doing his best to block out the trauma of having to wear female clothing again this year, "Even if you somehow obtain it, I'm going to burn it."<br>"Aw, but it looked so good~" the wolf insisted, to which he got an infamous Edgey death glare.

"Can we borrow your tiara pal?" Gumshoe asked, getting straight to the point.

"My tiara?" the blonde said quizzically, "Why would you want my tiara?"

"We only need it for a day at most, we will return it to you immediately," Miles said, "But as to why we actually need it is a bit complicated to explain."

Regina cocked her head to the side, her big blue eyes full of wonder. "But I need my tiara for my shows."

"I appreciate that, but please could you just let us borrow it for a short while?"  
>She considered before she shook her head, sending her blonde curls flying all over the place. "I really need to hang onto it~" she hummed, beginning to jump up and down once again.<p>

"Damn, this is getting us nowhere," Lang said quietly to the others.  
>"We are this close to obtaining the tiara, there must be something we can do to get it."<br>"...You hold her down, I grab the tiara?" Shi-Long suggested, only half joking. The look Miles gave the wolf signalled that they would _not _even begin to try that idea.

"Hmm..." Gumshoe scratched his head as if deep in thought, although the other two didn't really pay him much attention because the detective wasn't exactly renowned for coming up with ingenious plans. However, he soon proved that wrong when he suggested, "Hey why don't you try the host treatment on her, Mr. Edgeworth?"  
>"Host treatment?" Lang asked, but he didn't get a reply because Miles was currently thinking the idea through.<p>

"That... That just might work Detective Gumshoe," he said slowly. "Yes, it is definitely worth a shot. Good work."  
>Scruffy grinned at the rare compliment, but the agent was still confused as to what was about to happen.<p>

"Lang, I'm only doing this so that we can get the tiara so please do not think anything of it," the silver haired one said before he moved closer to Regina.  
>"Huh?" he wondered, looking on with curiosity.<br>"Oh man this is gonna be great," Gummy said in anticipation, "Just wait till you see this pal!"

Miles took a deep breath, before he started to practically glow. "Regina," he said softly, gazing at the animal tamer before him intensely.  
>"E-err..." Regina faltered at this sudden change with the prosecutor, and a light blush crept onto her face as she stopped the bouncing she had been doing.<br>"I would _really _appreciate it if you would just let me borrow that exquisite tiara of yours for a while," he purred.

"But... I really do need it," she said uncertainly.  
>"But haven't you ever thought about just how amazing you'd look without it?" Edgeworth asked with a devastatingly handsome smile. "That tiara is distracting attention away from your luscious hair, it really is beautiful, just like you."<br>"Oh, well, I am pretty aren't I?" She smiled warmly at the compliment. "You really think my hair would look better without the tiara?"  
>"I know so," the prosecutor said in a husky voice.<p>

Regina blushed more, seriously considering giving her tiara to Miles by this point.

"Just what the hell is going on here?" Lang asked, shocked at what he was seeing.  
>"This is Mr. Edgeworth's host routine!" Gumshoe said happily. "He always was a big hit with the ladies, but he always acted awkward around them. One day though, he really needed to check out a piece of evidence for a case he was working on but the woman at the precinct wouldn't let him. That's when Mr. Edgeworth pulled together all of his great chivalrous points and came up with the host routine so that he could charm his way past! He's able to influence almost every female pal," Gumshoe said proudly.<p>

"Someone like you is destined for great things," Miles said in a low, sexy voice, "You really are a true princess."  
>Regina giggled nervously, utterly captivated by the silver haired one. "Well, father always did say I was special."<br>"Your father was completely correct. However," Miles pulled Regina close to him, "This tiara is the only thing preventing you from achieving your true potential..." He carefully placed his hand atop the tiara and asked, "May I?"  
>The blonde had absolutely no protests to give and readily handed over the item in question, smiling cutely.<p>

"Thank you so much my dear," he said with a sweet smile, taking the tiara before Regina changed her mind. "I will return in to you shortly, but until then you should attain the greatness you so deserve."  
>"Right!" she said happily, a light blush on her cheeks. "I'll work hard to be a better princess!" And with that, she skipped off, clutching her star wand closely as she sang, "I'll be the greatest princess ever~"<p>

Miles looked at the tiara and sighed, "Well, at least we have this now."

"Hey! How could you not tell me about the host routine?" Shi-Long asked, clearly annoyed. He moved closer to his boyfriend as he said, "I knew you had a female following, but why would you encourage them? You're basically acknowledging and accepting their feelings!"  
>"What on earth are you on about?" Miles asked in confusion, "I only ever do that when absolutely necessary. Shockingly, manipulating people isn't one of my favourite pastimes. Besides, if I didn't do that then we'd still be trying to figure out how to get the tiara while the other team could beat us."<br>The wolf couldn't really object to that, because the other actually had a point.

Edgeworth looked at his wolf and sighed as he said, "You know as well as I do that it means nothing, but I'm sorry that it bothered you."  
>"S'kay," the agent muttered before saying, "As long as you're mine and not some chick's then that'll do me."<br>The prosecutor coughed to hide his embarrassment as he said extremely quietly, "Of course I'm yours." He obviously regretted using such a cliché line because he immediately set off for the exit without waiting for any responses, quickly saying, "Look we've wasted far too much time as it is! We need to get back to the limo now, then that means we've won."

-A.W.E.S.O.M.E-

"Are those foolish idiots trying to get us killed?" Franziska questoined in a tone of death as she finally lay eyes on Regent. The weird bird transformer thing had guided them straight to Regent before leaving them, and currently the A.W.E.S.O.M.E members were shocked that a Lang Zi this dangerous could have possibly been issued. At present, the tiger (not a horse as they had previously thought) was in a big, roomy cage that actually looked rather comfortable. As soon as he had laid eyes on the trio, Regent came over curiously. Needless to say, those in the alliance were at complete unease.

"Well then... who fancies riding a tiger today?" Lana asked, looking at the other two.  
>"As if I would partake in something so foolish!" the blue haired female said indignantly, "One of you two do it."<br>"Count me out," Lana said quickly, "Godot is the man here, so he should do it!"

"I am afraid," he said, pausing to sip some of his coffee, "That I am ineligible for this particular feat."  
>"And just why is that?"<br>"Well you see: I don't want to do it."  
>"What kind of foolish reason is that?"<p>

There was a small argument in the alliance over who should ride a potentially dangerous tiger before said tiger roared loudly, scaring all of them.

"This is impossible!" Lana said, her voice full of worry, "There's no way we can do this!"  
>"At this rate, the fools are going to beat us," Franziska said in anger. "Look, we're just going to have to deal with this okay, so I'll release the tiger and one of you need to ride it." Franzy moved to release the wildcat, ignoring the protests from the other two. As soon as the door was opened, Regent ran out, jumping and running wildly, glad to have new people to play with. However, from the perspective of the A.W.E.S.O.M.E followers, it looked as though the tiger wanted to attack them.<p>

"Well played idiot!" Lana yelled, dodging out of the way as the tiger ran towards her.  
>"How dare you call me an idiot?" Franziska yelled back. "Stop being foolish and climb on the tiger now!"<br>"How do you expect us to do that?" Lana asked angrily, "This is just stupid!"

During all of the commotion, Godot had found a rather nice spot atop the cage and was out of Regent's reach. When the other members realised this they angrily yelled, "OI! Be a gentleman and help us out!"  
>He merely sipped at his coffee and said calmly, "I'll consider it."<p>

-Edgey, Lang, Gummy-

"Heh, we totally have this in the bag!" Lang said triumphantly, throwing his fist into the air as the limo came into view. "This Lang Zi was totally easy!"

"I agree, this all went much smoother than I thought it would. And it looks as though the others haven't completed their task yet," observed the prosecutor.

"Alright! We won!" Gumshoe said happily.

However, it was just as they were about fifty metres away from the limo that disaster struck in the form of a totally camp guy.  
>A streak of pink rushed before the three of them, blocking their way to the limo. "Stop right there you hooligans!" came a grand voice. When they finally got a good look at just what (or rather who) had blocked their way, Miles, Lang and Gumshoe saw a man with long pink hair with two pinkish-purplish stars on his left cheek glaring at them.<p>

"How dare you steal my darling Regina's crown?" he asked accusingly, pointing at the trio dramatically while playing cards shot out of his sleeve to assault them.

"What the hell?" Lang asked, catching some of the cards in his hand and chucking them back at the strange man. "Who are you?"

"I am Max Galactica!" he announced proudly, "And I have come to retrieve my sweetheart's tiara!" He continued to effectively block their way to the limo, much to their annoyance.

"Ms. Regina gladly handed over the tiara to us," Miles tried to explain, but the eccentric performer wouldn't hear of it.

"Nonsense! My darling Regina would never do such a thing!" He eyed the tiara in the prosecutor's hand, before taking proper note of the man himself. "Wait... _You _were the prince charming she was going on about?"

"Prince Charming?" Miles, Shi-Long and Gumshoe all said together.

"She claimed that a handsome prince had told her to get rid of her tiara... so that's you?" Sweat began to form on his forehead, and he fanned himself as he muttered, "So then I guess that this guy is my competition, but he's sorely mistaken if he thinks he can steal Regina away from me!"

"Ah, there seems to have been some sort of misunderstanding," the silver haired one began, "I have no intentions on stealing anyone away."

"Lies!" Galactica exclaimed dramatically, pointing once more so that numerous playing cards were flying at them all. He moved in to try and grab the tiara, but Miles just about managed to keep it out of the other's reach and passed it to Shi-Long.

"Unhand that tiara at once!"

"Or else what? You'll throw more cards at me?" Lang asked, a cheeky smirk on his face.

"Do you know who I am? I am Max Galactica! The only human being on this earth that is capable of flight!"

"Yeah yeah, and I'm the Queen Of Sheba," the agent said sarcastically. "Look, we only need to borrow this thing for a bit, so just back off."

"Absolutely not!" Max was resolute in this, looking as if he'd stop at nothing until the tiara was finally in his possession.

"Aw man, and we were so close to winning pal!" pouted the detective.  
>"Don't worry Scruffy, we'll have this guy dealt with in no time," the wolf said with a glint in his eye.<p>

-A.W.E.S.O.M.E-

"Take that!" Franziska yelled, brandishing her whip and cracking it down on the floor. "Looks like we'll have to tame this thing first!"

"Are you crazy?" Lana practically screeched, "You can't whip a tiger!"

"I don't see you coming up with any alternatives!" Franzy retorted, getting ready strike as the hyperactive tiger was heading towards her. She brought her whip up above her head, but before she could try and land a hit, Lana had literally dived on top of her.

"What foolishness is this?" the blue haired one asked in an outrage, "I had a perfect shot!"  
>"If you go around whipping tigers not only are you violating animal rights, but you'll also piss of the tiger! Do you want to get eaten?"<br>"No, but I see no other way aro- AH! GET OFF OF ME AND RUN!" the young von Karma cut herself off when she saw Regent heading towards them as they were sprawled across the floor.

"AHHHHHH!" both women were screaming manically, trying to get up quickly but failing, so that they were rolling and crawling around instead in an attempt to avoid the tiger. To be brutally honest, this was actually hilarious, and Godot conveyed that as he chuckled from his spot atop the cage as he looked on with amusement.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE HELP US!" they both shouted at him.  
>"Fine, I feel that I am ready to diffuse this situation," he said calmly, finishing off the mug of coffee he was currently drinking. "I shall do it elegantly, just like the sublime taste of my Special Ble-"<p>

"JUST SHUT UP AND HELP!"

-Edgey, Lang, Gummy-

"God dammit! We're running out of time here! Can you please just get the hell outta our way so we can at least get to the limo?" Lang tried to reason with the annoying magician.

"Absolutely not! If you go to that limo then you will take my precious Regina's tiara away and she will never see it again!"

"Who's stealing my wife's crown?" came a very familiar voice. When the trio turned around, they saw that strange Ventriloquist from earlier and an angry Trilo glaring at them all. "Did you steal something from my honey pie?" he screamed, "I'll make you all wish you were never born! I'll break all yer bones!" he hollered.

"Oh dear God, we don't have time for this," Miles sighed. "Look, this is all a misunderstanding. If we could all just calm down for a moment then we-"

"Can it Girly Frills!"

"Do not refer to me like that!"

"Give me that tiara," Max demanded, running up to the wolf and attempting to grab it.

"Hell no!" said Lang as he threw the tiara at Gumshoe. "Scruffy, heads up!"

"I got it pal!" he said, moving to catch it and... missing it by a mile. The item in question began rolling away from the arguing men, and they all watched it for a moment before each and every one of them made a mad dash to get it.

"Outta my way!"  
>"No way!"<br>"This is for you, my darling sweet Regina!"  
>"This is utterly ridiculous, we just need it for a second!"<p>

All of them were yelling at each other and things became rather violent as they all did their best to get their hands on the tiara.

_I am a gentleman, and look at what this tournament has reduced me to! _Miles thought sadly as he dodged a punch from Trilo, _If Kay thinks that she's putting me through all of this again next year then she's sadly mistaken! I'll just fake my death again and disappear to somewhere abroad!_

-A.W.E.S.O.M.E-

Godot jumped down from the cage and moved in front of the two other members of the alliance. "Get behind me," he ordered, and they did as they were told because the tiger was heading towards them once again.

"I call upon the coffee God's to lend me their strength," Godot began chanting, his hands making those cool Ninjutsu signs like the Naruto characters. "Lend me your divine and sublimely bitter powers as I call forth the ultimate caffeine infused beverage!"

Lana and Franziska had absolutely no idea what was going on, but Godot began to glow and a strong gust of breeze suddenly swept through the room. "My Special Blend #372, I summon you!" There were brightly coloured sparks flying every which way, the breeze picked up until it was practically a mini hurricane, and Godot was glowing extremely brightly.

"What's going on?" Lana asked, slightly fearing for her life at this point.  
>"I have no idea," Franziska said matter of factly, but secretly she was just as nervous.<p>

Suddenly, everything went completely still. A calm aura washed over the entire area as Diego stood there with the special mug of coffee he had just summoned up in his hand, a smirk on his face. He was panting slightly and laughed softly as he said, "I never thought I'd have to summon this blend again."

During the summoning process, Regent had stopped running towards the alliance members, but upon things returning back to normal he resumed his mad dash towards them.

"All right, I've only got one shot at this," Armando said determinedly as he set off running towards the tiger.

"He's gone insane!" Lana widened her eyes in horror.  
>"Don't be such a fool!" Franziska called.<p>

But Godot ignored the comments and carried on running, and when he was at a suitable range he threw the liquid contained within the mug at Regent's face.

The big cat suddenly stopped to shake his head and lick himself clean, ingesting some of the blend in the process...

"Now then, I command you to sit," Godot said, and Regent sat. "Heh, good kitty."

"W-What on earth?" asked Lana, making her way to Godot with Franziska. Godot had moved closer to the tiger and began stroking him. "He's really a big softy I guess," he remarked. "Okay then, stand up and allow me to ride you for a bit."

Regent did as he was told, and allowed the coffee drinker to ride him with no issue whatsoever. He started padding around the area happily; listening to all the directions Diego was giving him and obeying them each and every time.

"Just what was in that coffee?" Franzy asked; astonished at what she was seeing.

"My Special Blend #372 is a powerful concoction of caffeine and a secret ingredient only handed down via the coffee Gods," he explained as he commanded Regent to pick up the pace a bit and to circle the other two women. "It has such power that anyone drinking it immediately becomes relaxed and docile, and completely under my control."

"Seriously?" Lana asked in disbelief. "That's amazing! Why don't you use it to influence Edgeworth and the agent to drop out of the tournament?"  
>"A capital idea!" Franziska agreed, but the man on the tiger disagreed.<p>

"No, I want to play this game without resorting to tactics _that _underhanded. Besides, you saw how hard it is to summon up that blend; it takes a lot of energy. The power of my Special Blend #372 should never be abused," he said seriously.

-Edgey, Lang, Gummy-

"Got it!" Lang shouted triumphantly as he picked up the tiara and wrestled his way out for the pile of bodies that were wrestling each other. Once free from the mass of tangled and angry men, the wolf successfully retrieved Miles from the pile and the two of them then proceeded to drag Gumshoe out as well. They then all sprinted as fast as they could towards the limo.

"Come back here! I need that tiara for my darling!" Max yelled, giving chase, quickly followed by Trilo who was busy yelling obscenities. However, the trio made it to the limo before the circus performers could catch them.

"Right, we've done your stupid Lang Zi!" the wolf yelled. "I know that you're all watching this on that big screen, so come over here and tell us that we've won already!

-Normal-

"Hehe, hey everyone~" came Kay's voice from up above, accompanied by helicopter noises. She was holding a megaphone as she said, "It's me, Kay!"

"Stating the obvious as always," Miles said sarcastically.

"Well, that was so awesome to watch!" she said happily, laughing as she recalled all of the events that would soon make excellent talk at any dinner parties she attended. The A.W.E.S.O.M.E members heard Kay and so made their way out to see what the outcome was, because they weren't sure who had completed their task first (but before that they put Regent back into his pen).

The helicopter landed just outside the circus and the young thief skipped over to them. "Well, you certainly gave us a show~" she said cheerily, looking at all of the contestants around her. "I shall announce the results when we get back to the Random Field. Oh, by the way," she looked at Lang as she said, "I think you'd better give that tiara back now before they try and kill you Wolfie," she laughed as she pointed towards Max and Trilo who were looking anything but impressed.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
>-Time: 4.55pm-<br>-Place: Random Field-

"Well, gather around everyone," the thief said once they had all got themselves sorted out. "I can now reveal that the winners of that thrilling Lang Zi were..." she paused for dramatic effect before grandly announcing, "Ms vK, Ms. Skye and Godot!"

"Well naturally," Franziska said smugly, although she was secretly relieved.  
>"That's great news," Lana said happily.<br>Godot just stood there looking cool.

"And I also award Godot with a Bonus Lang Zi because he was just too epic for words in this Lang Zi!"

"Nice," he said coolly, sipping at some coffee.

"So, that means that someone from the other team needs to go." She turned towards the other three and said, "After careful analysis, I regret to say that Gummy is out."  
>"Huh? Why me pal?"<br>"Because you dropped the tiara. If you hadn't, then your team probably would have won. Oh well, now we can chill and laugh at what the remaining guys have to do~"  
>"You're right pal!" the detective didn't seem sad for his loss and happily joined those on the Loser's Bench.<p>

"Well then, we're down to our final five! It's every man for himself again, so get ready to be hit with loads more Lang Zi's guys!" the Yatagarasu pumped her fist into the air as she said, "This tournament just keeps getting better!"

Thus the hectic Lang Zi at Berry Big Circus was concluded. All of the remaining contestants badly needed a break, but there was no way in hell that was going to happen! The second annual Lang Zi Says Tournament continues!

x~x~x~x~x

**Well, I know this is long but whenever I get started on this circus place I just can't stop for whatever reason XD Ahhh! Godot is sooooo cool! :D****  
><strong>Anywho, we have GreatThiefYatagarasuJR to thank for this chapter as they requested the circus and the Lang Zi's and such :P I hope you all liked it, and until next time~ (which should hopefully be sooner cuz I'm on break at the moment :D)<strong>**

**Thank you so much for reading~! ^_^**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


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